It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake

[sassybird]

The Maid Cafe Meme



"In these cafés, waitresses dressed in maid costumes act as servants, and treat customers as masters (and mistresses) in a private home, rather than as café patrons."

Congratulations- for whatever strange shenanigans, you've ended up working at a maid and/or butler cafe! Whether you need the cash, are doing it for shits and giggles, or Shit Just Happened, here you are. Hope you enjoy that uniform, whether it's the simple black-and-white, cosplay, or.... cat ears.

Remember your manners! Always welcome in patron as "Masters" and "Mistresses", offer wipe towels and menus at entrance, and try to drag them into spending as much money as possible. Depending on the cafe, this could mean simply food and drinks, karaoke, massages, games of all sorts, taking a (paid) picture with a patron or... going with anime tropes by slapping them in-character?

Well, some people will pay for anything.

Alternatively, maybe you're actually a patron yourself! Visiting just to say you did? Looking for a brief power trip in your life? Is this the only place where you can do paperwork for some arcane reason? Keeping an eye out for your friend who works here? No judgment, only people in cosplay who will indulge whatever nonsense is going on.

Just remember - no touching the maids or butlers, no asking for personal information, and don't be a creepy stalker. Unless you want to get in trouble, anyway.

Fill in the top level of your comment with the character's name and canon, and put in a scenario or three for people to reply to!

Comments

Chikusa Kakimoto - Katekyo Hitman Reborn

[kokuyoyo]

[There's one reason and one reason only that Chikusa is working here: even teenage criminals determined to see the world be awash in blood need funds. Combined with that Mukuro-sama can be bizarrely cheap with the fact that M.M.'s existence is horrifically expensive, and, well...]

[Chikusa currently has a job. Almost like a normal person. Apparently, for certain people, the "kuudere" type is popular, even if Chikusa is all "kuu" and no "dere".]

A - White Rabbit

[And as it turns out, the theme of his particular job means a little bit of cosplay. So for those delving into the Wonderland Cafe, there's a certain white rabbit- bow tied around his neck and a rabbit-eared hat and all- waiting to bow for them.]

Welcome.... Master.

[He's not sure if it's weirder to say that to someone else, or if it's weirder to make himself not slouch. Correct body posture is the worst.]

B - Alice

[The other draw of Wonderland Cafe is that, every Saturday has a fun little event which involves.... crossdressing. It is absolutely a gimmick, but what do you expect from a maid cafe?]

[Due to experience Chikusa absolutely doesn't talk about, he doesn't seem particularly bothered at all by his pale blue "Alice" dress. In fact, he even seems very used to it as he adjusts his dress to kneel by his latest patron's table.]

Have you decided what you'd like today, Master?

[Maybe one day he'll put more emotion into that line, but it'll be a cold day in hell when he does.]

C - Normal Teenager Here

[So. It seems like there's a troublesome customer in the cafe today. From where he's watching in the staff area, not caring whichever outfit he's wearing, Chikusa seems to consider the problem patron.]

...Maybe we should just kill him.

[His fellow coworkers could very well mistake that deadpan for sarcasm. That is unfortunately not the case here.]

D - Wildcard

[just fuck with this garbage nerd]

a but i might come back for some b if you feel me

[possedere]

[Being called 'Master' by Chikusa wasn't anything, nor was the bunny butler get up, but what was nice was knowing he'd get a parfait and public entertainment out of the whole ordeal. It didn't hurt that the rest of the staff was adequately costumed ( even if none of them pulled it off like his Chikusa ).

Though now that Chikusa was standing straight, he had a good five cm on him, and Mukuro had to tilt his chin up to look at him. Interesting. He smiled slightly, begin in a way that would only last about five minutes.]

Table for one.

[For now anyway. If it went well, he might bring the rest of the K-Gang here to gawk.]

I shamelessly encourage coming back for B

[kokuyoyo]

[The fact that it's nothing new in any meaning of the word has Chikusa wondering just what's the point in Mukuro-sama coming here (and if he has enough money to waste on a maid cafe, please give it to them for groceries, thanks). Still, Chikusa isn't the type to mention such things anyway even without the demands of this job.]

[Instead, he takes a laminated menu with him as he guides his (actual) master to one of the nicer tables with absolutely no bias whatsoever, laying the menu down on the tabletop before pulling out the chair for him.]

What would you like to start with today, Mukuro-sama?

[Chikusa has a fair amount of certainty he knows what it's going to be, especially considering the various options for parfaits, but hey. You never know. Maybe for this occasion, Mukuro-sama is in the mood for something different.]

you would

[possedere]

[( Wow can't a husband just enjoy some down time without being nagged about providing some of the essentials to human existence? )

Mukuro followed Chikusa casually, watching the other staff and customers as he walked along, settling into the chair. He shot Chikusa an amused look, before lowering his lashes to look through the menu thoughtfully.]

A large chocolate parfait.

[Look everyone had their vices okay, and in some ways even unpredictability had to have some predictability.

And, just to be a brat:]

That look suits you.

you can't judge me Mimi!!

[kokuyoyo]

[Called it.]

[He shifts, ready to bow and give the usual practiced lines, when Mukuro-sama throws in his little jab. It doesn't really affect Chikusa, but he does seem to think on it for a moment with his head tilted.]

Do you prefer me in it, Mukuro-sama?

oh i can and i will

[possedere]

I prefer it to the cat ears from last time.

[As if to accentuate his point, he reached up to skim his hands thoughtfully over the hat in question, hand trailing down as if to touch the bowtie on Chikusa's neck before stopping short. Maybe later, since the maid cafe probably didn't encourage inappropriate touching.]

then i can judge you, dont make me do it

[kokuyoyo]

[As a matter of fact, if a certain someone would pay attention to the rules-]

...No touching, Mukuro-sama.

[At all, although Chikusa doesn't seem like he's putting a lot of effort into stopping him. At least, not physically as he straightens up again.]

...If you get banned from the cafe, you won't get to see the other outfit.

[And with that, he turns on his heel to retreat to the kitchen.]

[If Mukuro-sama wants to see it, then there's no stopping him. Still, maybe that'll tempt him to come by again and spend more money if he's not going to use it directly on them. Sigh. This is way too much work...]

[Still, he does it well enough. The parfait he returns with is well put together, and Chikusa takes care as he sets it down in front of Mukuro-sama.]

I put a lot of effort into this... [And there's a slight (and artificial) glance away.] So I hope you enjoy, Mukuro-sama.

[It's fake as hell to anyone who actually knows his garbage personality, but according to some viable sources such as M.M., it's "dere".]

[Chikusa has been in Japan for a while now, but he still has no idea what the hell that even means. He also doubts Mukuro-sama will fall for it in the slightest or offer any decent advice, considering his own... questionable skill in the area of acting, but still. It'll be interesting to see his response.]

[Sainte] Ciel | Gaia Online | f/f for shipping

[scissor_knight]

[So after they released Agape's Cut and SC Agape tanked because nobody cared about her, just her scissors some things happened okay, Ciel has found herself working at a maid cafe, for some reason, somehow escaping the notice of probably everyone. However, this wasn't the worst of all possibilities. Just. Strange. But, if the shoe fit...

Maybe you're a returning patron. If you are, she certainly notices when she approaches with a smile.]

Hello, Master! I'm Ciel and I will be your servant this evening. Have you decided what you would like?

[allthorns]

[Sure, returning patron, let's put it like that. Rosamund gives a small smile as she steps through the doors, adjusting her coat.]

Cappuccino to start with, I think. How are you today?

[scissor_knight]

Oh, I'm quite well.

[Here she leans forward a little.] Especially now that you're here. [She can probably get in trouble for that while on the job.]

I'll go ahead and get that for you, Mistress. Just a moment! [And she's off to go get that for her.]

[allthorns]

[Blushing? Who’s blushing? Definitely not the pretty redhead. She pauses, letting Ciel help her out.]

Thank you. [A murmur of her own.] I’m glad to be back.

[scissor_knight]

[She returns with Rosamund's cappucino.]

Here you are, Mistress. I hope you like it! I made it with love for you.

[She does that heart-shape gesture with her fingers... centered over her chest. Which, considering her outfit...]

[allthorns]

[That is SURE a gesture. Rosamund ducks her head because even after all this time, she’s still not used to it. The blush is half from her soft laughter, however.]

I don’t doubt it. You always do, right? Want to sit down with me?

[She knows because of the job she has to anyway, but, still.]

Agent 3 - Splatoon

[woomy]

A: Welcome

[ Agent 3 makes a very cute and small Inkling maid. She beams brightly, barely able to see over the podium, and greets every customer with a smile. She then leads customers to a table and give them menus.

This is kind of fun, and the outfits are very fresh. No doubt the employer is banking on a "moe" feel with her. She's just too cute with her tentacles swinging freely like long pigtails. ]

Let me know when you're ready to order!

B: Uh-oh

[ There is a problem brewing in the maid cafe. Someone has disobeyed the rules and tried to get too close to one of the employees. 3 isn't going to stand for that. She throws a serving tray at the perpetrator with great accuracy.

There goes the moe image. She's ready for a fight. ]

Hey! Knock that off, sea scum!

C: Chose your own adventure

Ken Joshima - Katekyo Hitman Reborn

[junkyarddog]

[No one in their right minds - certainly not a Chikusa who's looking to make this venture profitable - would trust Ken as a maid or a butler or anyone who has to have any direct non-violent interaction with patrons whatsoever. So Ken is no such thing. He's here, as he's been told in very short words, purely in a backup capacity. Ken's got no real objections to this; this whole place is too fancy and cutesy for him, and he's not interested in participating in...whatever it is Chikusa's doing, he's not really clear on the details. Which is to say he didn't bother listening to them.

Kakipi made him dress up a little anyway - as much as Ken would stand, and even this much is more than Ken is comfortable with. He keeps tugging irritably at his tie, a dog pawing at a new leash. Only Chikusa and Mukuro would ever be allowed to put anything remotely resembling a leash around his neck, and while Chikusa is behind this one...Ken still doesn't like it. Maybe because it's more to suit the cafe than Chikusa - or, more likely, because this is a level of formal Ken doesn't like much without a chance to get blood all over it. The most fun he's had all day was almost breaking the arm of someone who'd decided to get handsy with Kakipi, and Chikusa hadn't even let him do more than kick him out of the cafe after that. Not even when Ken had promised to take the guy into an alley first!

Today sucks. It's boring. Anyone looking to enliven the day of the glorified cafe bouncer would be welcome, at this point - even though Chikusa specifically instructed him not to talk to people.]

[kokuyoyo]

[Against all odds, Ken has actually been manageable today. Sure, Chikusa knows the other well enough to recognize that any explanations have gone into one ear and out the other, but he's been listening to orders, which is all that can really be asked here.]

[But he's getting bored. Chikusa can spot it from across the room from the corner of his eye. You don't grow up together without realizing some tells. So, after he's done with one patron, he goes to intervene before Ken actually kills someone just to alleviate the boredom.]

Ken.

[That's all the warning he's going to get before a small bag of heart shaped pastries are flung with impressive accuracy right at his head. Hey, Ken is simple. Hopefully a simple distraction will work.]

[junkyarddog]

[It's more than enough warning for Ken's arm to reflexively snap up and snatch the bag out of the air; even if he wasn't already itchy for just about any kind of action, Ken's got good reflexes.

Besides, his eyes have been restlessly following Chikusa around all day. Chikusa's always the most interesting thing in the room, if Mukuro-sama isn't already present. He'd already straightened up and was grinning by the time Chikusa was halfway across the room to him, excited by the prospect of getting acknowledgment.

Especially since he's been (mostly) behaving. Kakipi has to reward him today, right? If the bag in his hand is any indication, then he's totally right.]

Kakipiiii~. [Winning him over with snacks is a good idea, although as distractions go it's not going to last long. Ken's got the bag open and is cramming a pastry into his mouth almost before he gets Chikusa's full nickname out. If Ken was channeling something with a tail right now, it'd be wagging.]

How much longer before we leave, byon? [Excuse the crumbs everywhere. And Ken's barely being intelligible through a full mouth. He's hoping they'll be out of here soon, and then he can cause as much trouble as he likes.]

[kokuyoyo]

[Ew. For all the fact that they live in a dilapidated building that's been abandoned and uncleaned for years, Chikusa still seems to take offense at those crumbs flying everywhere. He wrinkles his nose, staying well clear of the blast zone.]

[Will he stop judging Ken for this kind of thing? Not today.]

...A couple hours more. In the last one, I'll start cleaning up.

[Or, rather, he'll have decided he's expended enough energy for the day and get Ken to do it, who'll probably be so eager to be doing SOMETHING and to get out that he won't think twice. At least, Chikusa is certainly hoping he didn't get an intelligence spike and so won't think.]

Can you last that long?

[Or is he going to have to play murder babysitter?]

[junkyarddog]

[The immediately pissed-off look on Ken's face says 'murder babysitter', in no uncertain terms. Really, Chikusa, there's only so much you can expect from Ken. He's already been doing surprisingly well today, but you can't expect him to keep that up indefinitely. Apparently several more hours of boredom and good behavior is pushing things too far.]

A couple more hours of this? [His tone is somewhere between disgust and disbelief.] C'mon, Kakipi, this isn't just boring, it's stupid! What's wrong with just beating people up and taking what they've got? [Just the thought brings a feral grin to his face, and a fang cartridge appears between his fingers as if by magic.] Fast and fun, byon.

[There's a lot of warning signs packed into just a few sentences and body language here. Ken is at his limit, and the pastries are only going to divert him for a minute or two longer, tops. He needs a lot more diverting or he's going to cause a scene. A crime scene, almost certainly.]

[kokuyoyo]

[Ugh. He should have just set Ken loose on the rest of the town and gambled that he wouldn't do anything too disastrous. Is it really worth the effort to both do actual menial work and make sure Ken doesn't slaughter the entire building? Maybe he can just use a single but well poisoned needle to put him out of commission for a while... Ugh, but then if it stays active for too long, he might actually have to drag Ken back to the base. Horrible.]

[This line of thought is finished with a tired sigh, one that coincidentally sounds off right as Ken himself stops talking. A dual purpose sigh.]

[He really has to take care of this.]

...If we get too much attention, then the police will come after us. That will restrict what we'll be able to do... And we'll be less useful for Mukuro-sama.

[That ought to get Ken's attention on some level. And while he's hopefully still taking that in, Chikusa reaches over to snag his ear with one hand and gesture to his coworkers with the other that he's going on a quick break.]

[Ken is taking a trip with him into the staff bathroom. For reasons.]

[possedere]

[It was amusing to see what his subordinates got up to when Mukuro wasn't around, and while at first he had been a bit insulted he hadn't been included in this little venture, he had decided that he would make the best of it.

The best of it being that he would drop by and upset the delicate balance they had set up for themselves mercilessly. Or occasionally acting the part of a good, normal, paying customer. It was better to keep even those who had known him for so long on their toes, after all.]

Ken.

[It was a greeting tinged with amusement and of course, the ever present mockery, though Mukuro did size up the other boy, letting his eyes linger. When forced, Ken could clean up nicely.]

Have you been a bad boy?

[Why else would he be outside dressed like that and scowling?]

[junkyarddog]

[If Mukuro's vain enough to take pleasure in someone's being happy to see him, Ken will never disappoint him in that area. He brightens instantly, straightening up and grinning in his least threatening display of fangs.] Mukuro-sama!

[In all the time he's been with him, Mukuro-sama has never once - not for a second that Ken can remember - been boring. It's one of the things Ken likes best about him.

At the question, his grin turns more feral.] Not yet. There'd be more blood if I'd been having fun, byon. Kakipi's taking too long. [This last part comes out with a definite whine. The implication is very much that he's contemplating being a bad boy in the very near future, if Chikusa or Mukuro don't distract him first.]

[possedere]

[Mukuro and vanity were nearly synonymous, and honestly he would have been put out if his appearance hadn't garnered a reaction. Normally people reacted negatively, but sometimes blind loyalty and affection were acceptable.

As was simplicity. Ken was like a loud, yet-to-be housebroken gun. In order to use him, all Mukuro had to do was point at a target. Keeping him entertained was just as easy.]

Should we get back at him for making you wait?

[It was said mildly enough, Mukuro's smirk curling up in amusement, tugging lightly on Ken's vest as if to help soothe the material in place and not because he had a gigantic cosplay fetish.]

[junkyarddog]

Yeah. [Ken's all fangs and barely suppressed excitement now, almost bouncing in place on the balls of his feet.] What should we do, Mukuro-sama?

[When it's just him, or himself and Chikusa, Ken's got no problems deciding a course of action for himself. But when Mukuro's around, deferring to him is as natural as breathing. Besides, he knows Mukuro - it sounds like he's already got something in mind. That's exciting in itself. Mukuro's plans for mayhem tend to be so good that just listening to them is almost as good as actually causing mayhem.

He doesn't care what Mukuro has in mind; he'll listen, he'll obey, and he'll enjoy every second of it.]

[possedere]

Chikusa hates messes, doesn't he?

[It's posed as a question even though it's definitely not a question, Mukuro's head canted slightly to the side, his expression troubled.]

It would be terrible if something happened to the ice cream machine or if for some reason their big vats of frosting tipped over and got everywhere...

[Mukuro no. What has Chikusa ever done to you except be a good and loyal follower?]