badliifechoiice2 | It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake

It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake

The Maid Cafe Meme

"In these cafés, waitresses dressed in maid costumes act as servants, and treat customers as masters (and mistresses) in a private home, rather than as café patrons."

Congratulations- for whatever strange shenanigans, you've ended up working at a maid and/or butler cafe! Whether you need the cash, are doing it for shits and giggles, or Shit Just Happened, here you are. Hope you enjoy that uniform, whether it's the simple black-and-white, cosplay, or.... cat ears.

Remember your manners! Always welcome in patron as "Masters" and "Mistresses", offer wipe towels and menus at entrance, and try to drag them into spending as much money as possible. Depending on the cafe, this could mean simply food and drinks, karaoke, massages, games of all sorts, taking a (paid) picture with a patron or... going with anime tropes by slapping them in-character?

Well, some people will pay for anything.

Alternatively, maybe you're actually a patron yourself! Visiting just to say you did? Looking for a brief power trip in your life? Is this the only place where you can do paperwork for some arcane reason? Keeping an eye out for your friend who works here? No judgment, only people in cosplay who will indulge whatever nonsense is going on.

Just remember - no touching the maids or butlers, no asking for personal information, and don't be a creepy stalker. Unless you want to get in trouble, anyway.

Fill in the top level of your comment with the character's name and canon, and put in a scenario or three for people to reply to!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

'Less useful to Mukuro-sama' does make Ken sag a little. Still, he's not giving up his position. "We've always managed fine before, byon. We could just move around so we're not causing too much trouble in one plaaace - "

The last word gets drawn out in a startled whine as Chikusa grabs his ear and starts dragging him away. Annoyed whines of "Kakipiiiiiii" are going to trail them all the way to the bathroom.

Still, it's a sign of how much Ken likes and trusts Chikusa that he lets himself be dragged at all, much less without offering even token resistance. Anyone else wouldn't have far to look for their own arm, because Ken would be beating them with it.

Once Ken notes that they're in private now, that it's just the two of them in the bathroom...his whining stops abruptly, and he gives Chikusa an intrigued, borderline hopeful look. Is something fun going to happen now?

With Ken now inside the bathroom, Chikusa makes sure to lock the door behind them. It's not that he, necessarily, would care if anyone stumbled in on them... It's just that the aftermath would be troublesome to deal with. Sliding the glasses from his face, he glances at Ken with cool eyes.

"Honestly... I don't want to do much more work today. If I let you fuck my mouth, will that be enough for another hour?"

It's not the most creative or attractive dirty talk, no. However, it's simple and straight to the point... Which hopefully is enough or someone like Ken. Besides, he really doesn't want to move more than he necessarily has to. That isn't to say he couldn't do more if Ken really needs the attention...

But Chikusa is hoping for the lazier option here. He won't even lie about it.

Ken grins broadly at the offer, eyes lighting up. That would definitely make the wait more bearable, not to mention burn off some of his excess energy.

However, he's not entirely stupid.

"You said two hours, byon." His eyes are sharp and wicked, fanged grin an open dare. He's not precisely bargaining for more, or even declaring what Chikusa's offered to not be enough; he's known Chikusa for ages, and one of the things he knows about him is that he's fickle as hell. If Ken said a blowjob wasn't sufficient, Chikusa might take back his offer completely. So instead he's using an open-ended statement to imply the question 'what else you got?'

Ken may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but he's got good instincts. And he thinks he can push this a little further. (To be fair, Chikusa can almost always be pushed a little further, considering he only ever does the bare minimum he can get away with. It's just a question of whether he can be pushed further successfully.)

Times like this make Chikusa wish Ken was entirely stupid. But that's the inclination to laziness talking.

There's a wrinkle of his nose, the only faint sign of his annoyance. Nothing so bad that Ken doesn't still have a chance, a fact both of them know. "It's for the first hour." He knows what he's talking about, thank you. "For the second.. If I get another customer, then I'll try to get you food."

And if he doesn't, well, Ken can do whatever he wants to him because by that point it won't matter. Chikusa isn't going to voice that unless prompted, however. If Ken doesn't understand that, then that's his problem.

"So I might not get anything if you don't get a customer?" Ken makes a face, which of course involves sticking his tongue out. Ken's tongue doesn't need much excuse to be anywhere but in his mouth where it belongs. "I could just go to the kitchen and make sure I get snacks, byon."

It's a true statement, one Ken doesn't intentionally mean as a threat, but Chikusa - knowing Ken - will definitely hear one in it. There's no way Ken wouldn't cause havoc in a cafe kitchen, even if all he genuinely wanted to do was stuff his face. After all, someone would probably try to stop him, and the outcome from there would be predictable.

Apparently only a guaranteed reward is going to guarantee Ken's behavior. Which isn't actually unfair - just inconvenient to Chikusa's laziness. Ken seems to know it, too, because he's grinning again. "Gonna have to do better than that, Kakipi."

See that? See the way his mouth tilts? That's Chikusa's "I'm feeling so attacked right now" barely-there-frown. He's trying to be the responsible garbage teenager in this group for once by getting them money to feed themselves with Mukuro-sama away and this is what he gets in return.

Avoiding all responsibility and filth by sleeping seems like a more appealing option by the day.

But not right now, because he has an overly energetic and horny dog to deal with. "If I don't get a customer," he finally verbalizes, low annoyance in his otherwise bland tone, "then that means I won't have to take one for that last hour. And if that happens, then you can fuck me however you want."

A pause.

"...And you can't make decent snacks anyway, Ken."

Ken's wolfish grin seems to be a tacit agreement to those terms. "I guess if I did it now, you couldn't really go back to work, byon." Oh, look, Ken has some awareness of actions and consequences! And it's certainly true that sex with him doesn't leave one fit for polite society, at least not until one bandages all the bite wounds and deeper scratches. (Unless the other person tops, and even then that usually just means less collateral damage, not zero.)

"But something like that, Kakipi..." Oh, yeah, that's a dangerous look in his eyes. "I might wanna do that whether you get a customer or not, byon." A beat. "After you feed me." So, arguably, that means Ken would...probably wait until Chikusa had handled this theoretical customer, at least. Maybe. Hopefully.

Then he's making another face. "And who said anything about making the snacks? I bet they've got all sorts of nice things in the kitchen already, byon." Ken isn't lazy, like Chikusa, but he's very direct. Whereas Chikusa wouldn't make snacks himself if he could possibly avoid it due to laziness, Ken wouldn't make his own snacks if there were snacks readily available just because it's a simpler approach and it involves him eating sooner.

Chikusa might want to get to the blowjob in short order, though. Letting Ken work himself up about the awesome snacks the kitchen may or may not have could be dangerous.

Yeah, time to get involved. Leaving his folded up glasses on the sink to avoid any damage- he's reckless enough with those, no need to make them Ken collateral- Chikusa takes the blunt approach of going straight up to ken.

The nice thing about Ken is that there's no need for overly long foreplay or sweet talk. All you have to do is grab his crotch. Which, for the record, is exactly what Chikusa is doing.

"If you get this uniform messy, I'm getting the bad shampoo."

And, you know, threatening him.

Something sparks in Ken's eyes, making him look even hungrier and more dangerous than before - and those tend to be his default settings. He leans into Chikusa's hand, and toward Chikusa in general, smirking.

"If I get your uniform dirty, Kakipi," he purrs, running his tongue over his lips, "it'll be because you didn't swallow, byon."

And then he's nipping sharply at Chikusa's lips, registering an unspoken complaint about where they're not presently.

When you have blunt teeth against someone who has far too many different sets of sharp ones, biting back doesn't really do much. Chikusa does anyway, teeth slipping from Ken's mouth, and then he's sinking easily down onto the tile. Long quick fingers undo Ken's belt and pants deftly for all of Chikusa's lazy movements beforehand.

How much work is he going to have to do, or is Ken going to make things easy for him with a good hard dick? Time to find out as he coaxes it out from Ken's pants.

Ken's never needed much excuse to get worked up, and the thought of facefucking Chikusa is pretty appealing. He's already starting to get hard, and probably won't need heavy encouragement to keep going in that direction.

Meanwhile, he's reaching down and grabbing a fistful of hair at the back of Chikusa's neck, grinning. "You make a cute bunny, Kakipi. You bite like one too, byon."

"So you want me to bite while I'm down here?" is the deadpan response, but there's no... bite to it. For all the thoughts of poison and the high probability at any given time of Chikusa buying floral shampoo, he'd never be that mean to Ken.

...Unless he really deserved it, anyway. And since Ken has been decent today, he hasn't yet.

Guiding Ken's cock to his mouth, Chikusa flicks his tongue along the tip. For however much he'd like to be lazy about this, he is on a short break. That means a little bit of effort goes into things as he curls his tongue around the sensitive head before taking it into his mouth with a sharp suck.

"If you did, I'd go lion channel, byon," is Ken's prompt and surprisingly intelligent response. But then again, channels come naturally to Ken; of course he'd know how to threaten someone with one.

Ken groans a little as Chikusa's tongue works on him, rocking into Chikusa's mouth almost immediately as he tugs on that handful of hair. That...may be an issue. Chikusa should know that Ken is loud and animalistic in all things, and sex is no different. Did he plan on any way of keeping Ken quiet, or is he just hoping like hell the bathroom's too far away for anyone to hear?

A tile bathroom, at that. Tile makes echoes.

Yeah... That's going to be a problem. And Chikusa can't tell him to shut up, on account of a hand on the back of his neck and his mouth full of cock. That limits his options somewhat.

So he improvises a bit, reaching up to tug pointedly on Ken's jacket and flashing up an irritated glance upwards. If there's a way to send the word quiet through to someone with eyes alone, then Chikusa is certainly the closest one can get to it.

Since Chikusa's holding still, and didn't say anything about Ken holding back at all, Ken's going to take that as an open invitation to start fucking his mouth in earnest, rocking his hips while keeping that hold on the back of Chikusa's neck. (He actually is paying attention to Chikusa while he does this; he doesn't want to have to explain to Mukuro-sama that he suffocated Kakipi with his cock. But he's assuming that since Chikusa suggested this idea that he's able to handle it, unless something goes drastically wrong, so he's not particularly worried.) And he groans again, louder this time.

When Chikusa grabs his jacket, he looks down, the movement of his hips slowing as he takes in Chikusa's expression. And then...he grins, and goes right back to what he was doing. With no noticeable change to the sounds he's making.

So, the question is - did Ken not understand, or is he being a sly dog and pretending he didn't understand? There's no real way for Chikusa to tell, and the question is whether there's anything more he can do about it.

Ken, you piece of shit.

Whether plain or willful ignorance, it annoys Chikusa and it's going to cause problems. That's all he needs. Yet there's very little he can do, and it's only half because he's on his knees with his head being gripped. The other half is that he's always been the physically weaker of the two, so that gives him even less options.

But there is good news, and that is that he pays attention to things. Things like how Ken rocking into his mouth- which he's all but tuned out, it seems Ken has that handled- means his balance isn't as steady as it could be. So Chikusa does the dirty thing:

He lowers his hands and reaches down around Ken's ankle before giving a harsh sudden jerk.

If Ken falls backwards, will he probably yell and raise hell about it? Yes. Will he shut up with the moaning? Also yes. Chikusa considers it to be a fair trade and, anyway, anyone who's spent five seconds in Ken's presence wouldn't blink an eye at him throwing a fit. It's less conspicuous, against all odds.

Ken definitely wasn't expecting that, or watching for it. He yelps, loudly, as he starts to go over. And, instinctively, tries to catch himself.

The thing Chikusa didn't seem to consider is that he's the closest solid thing for Ken to grab at. Or that Ken's not likely to loosen his grip on Chikusa's hair while he's falling. He's going to be wrenching at Chikusa's hair as he tries to use him as an anchor, the other hand lashing out to grab at his shoulder and dig fingers in. (Chikusa, and his uniform, are lucky Ken isn't channeling right now - but Ken might still get a good enough fistful to at least start a torn shoulder seam.)

The only question is, are they both going over, or is Chikusa immobile enough that Ken can keep his feet with his unwilling assistance?

~~Okay, there's also the question of how safe Ken's cock is in Chikusa's mouth under these circumstances. This is not one of Chikusa's more thought-out plans.~~

So miSTAKES MIGHT HAVE BEEN MADE....

Actually, cut out that 'maybe'. They have absolutely been made, and now Chikusa is paying for this plan. There's a strangled sound as he's tugged forward with Ken, eyes going wide and his hands lurching upwards to scramble at Ken's clothes.

Good news: his teeth don't snap down on Ken's cock.

Bad news: There is the faintest bit of scraping, and also Chikusa slams his nose into Ken's pelvis in the ongoing collapse. But that's more his problem than Ken's.

....Also he can't breathe.

Yes, along with having just fallen in a clusterfuck onto the tiled floor, you are now being whacked at in the hip, Ken. LET HIM GO.

Luckily for Chikusa, Ken doesn't just let go, he shoves him away, red-faced and cursing. "What the fuck, Kakipi?!" He's giving him a glare that occupies an intersecting point between confused, hurt, and outraged, even as he cups a hand over his abused cock. The teeth outcome may have been way better than one could reasonably expect, but the shifts in position between Ken's cock and Chikusa's mouth in the fall weren't the kindest. Not seriously damaging, but certainly uncomfortable.

There's no immediate answer as Chikusa shuffles back on his knees, coughing into his hand harshly. Falling with a cock down your throat isn't a good idea, as it turns out. When he's got his breath back, he hisses back, "I was trying to say something." The idiot isn't said, but it's easy to pick up the implication.

"So you tripped me?" Ken's look is now settling into 'sullen'. "Should've let me finish. Or just tried to pull away, like a normal person." Granted, Chikusa wouldn't have been able to with Ken holding him there, but Ken would have felt the effort and let up. He had been watching Chikusa for signs of distress, and Chikusa glaring at him isn't a sign of distress. That's more an everyday occurrence.

"You were holding me there," Chikusa rasps out, rubbing at his throat. Assured that he's fine besides a little roughness, he sighs and shifts to face Ken better. "...It's not hurt badly, is it?" Look at that concern. He does care, somewhere in his repressed little heart.

"I would've let go," Ken mutters, looking away. He cares too, in his own way - he wouldn't hold Chikusa on his dick if he thought Chikusa wanted to pull away for some reason.

At the question, Ken shifts away slightly, defensively. "It's fine." It's sore, but Ken's pretty sure that's all it is. That said, though, the response was more kneejerk than thought out; Ken is weirdly averse to getting any injuries looked at, unless he's really in a state. He'd probably have said the same thing even if Chikusa had snapped his dick in half - although it would've been in a much more pained and unconvincing tone of voice.

On one hand, Ken isn't in obvious physical pain, so he's probably telling the general truth. On the other hand, he's a stubborn idiot.

Chikusa shifts closer. "Let me see it." It's a mild order, not too stern at all, which means he won't push if Ken is really against it. Enough mistakes have been made today for him to push things further.

Probably the only reason Ken doesn't put up more of a fight is because he genuinely doesn't think anything's wrong with it; if he thought there was a chance he might have to get some kind of medical attention, Chikusa would probably have to chase him down. As it is, though, Ken just makes an annoyed sound and lifts his hands briefly, looking away.

It still looks like his dick, certainly. It also looks like he's lost interest in the proceedings entirely.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject