badliifechoiice2 | It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake

It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake

The Maid Cafe Meme

"In these cafés, waitresses dressed in maid costumes act as servants, and treat customers as masters (and mistresses) in a private home, rather than as café patrons."

Congratulations- for whatever strange shenanigans, you've ended up working at a maid and/or butler cafe! Whether you need the cash, are doing it for shits and giggles, or Shit Just Happened, here you are. Hope you enjoy that uniform, whether it's the simple black-and-white, cosplay, or.... cat ears.

Remember your manners! Always welcome in patron as "Masters" and "Mistresses", offer wipe towels and menus at entrance, and try to drag them into spending as much money as possible. Depending on the cafe, this could mean simply food and drinks, karaoke, massages, games of all sorts, taking a (paid) picture with a patron or... going with anime tropes by slapping them in-character?

Well, some people will pay for anything.

Alternatively, maybe you're actually a patron yourself! Visiting just to say you did? Looking for a brief power trip in your life? Is this the only place where you can do paperwork for some arcane reason? Keeping an eye out for your friend who works here? No judgment, only people in cosplay who will indulge whatever nonsense is going on.

Just remember - no touching the maids or butlers, no asking for personal information, and don't be a creepy stalker. Unless you want to get in trouble, anyway.

Fill in the top level of your comment with the character's name and canon, and put in a scenario or three for people to reply to!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I was deciding what to do next." Ken rolls onto his back to look up at the sky. "I wanted to go buy food but people are always so annoying when I'm covered in blood, byon." This is something he knows from personal experience. And a bath is of course out of the question. "And it won't rain." Rain is an acceptable form of bathing in Ken's universe.

A thought seems to occur to Ken, and he lifts his head to look at Chikusa. "Oi, Kakipi - you can buy blowjobs, right?"

Chikusa is literally about to point out that since he's not covered in blood, he could go get food if Ken wanted.... but then Ken says that.

And Chikusa has to pause, not entirely sure he heard that right for a second.

"Prostitution," he answers at least. "Why?"

Ken makes a face at him. "Why do you think? I never got mine, and you're bad at them!" He sits up, shaking himself off. "How much do they cost?"

It's unclear if Ken is genuinely entertaining this idea, or even entirely processes that buying a blowjob is slightly different and more complicated than buying gum.

This is actually happening. Actually happening. The incredulity of the situation is snapped by Ken's own judgment on Chikusa, and there might be a hint of pink lighting up that pale skin of his.

"It wasn't the blowjob that was bad," he points out defensively as he adjusts his glasses in an effort to compose himself. There's no mention that it was just every other dumb decision that had the whole thing go to hell. "And Ken, you're not buying one."

A pause as he realizes that this could be taken as a challenge, and he amends his words with, "Not looking like that." You know. Covered in blood.

"I was the one doing all the work, byon." Ken huffs and folds his arms over his chest. "So doesn't that mean all the good parts were me, and the bad parts were all you?"

Sometimes simple is dangerous. For instance, it can simplify a point down to razor sharpness.

Ken looks down at himself for a moment, then huffs again. "I can just take the clothes off, byon. That's where most of the blood is anyway." And he takes the cartridge out of his mouth, returning to his usual appearance. Honestly, with how often Ken reaches into his mouth with other people's blood on his hands, this boy is going to die of some horrific disease before he's 30.

"You didn't do all the work," Chikusa counters, surprisingly quickly for someone who is still refusing to push himself up just yet. It's coming, however. "I did some work at the beginning and you liked that. If I did more, it'd be just as good."

...Which probably has a moral somewhere there if he actually did more work instead of trying to go backwards in time from sheer laziness, things would go smoother in his life, but you know what.

He's ignoring that even as he sits up. "You can't walk around without clothes."

"Yeah, but you never wanna do anything, byon." Ken pouts. "So even if you hadn't messed it up, someone who was actually trying the whole time could still do better than you, right, Kakipi?"

Ken really isn't one for reverse psychology. He probably isn't deliberately aiming to push Chikusa toward proving him wrong. If anything, it's probably needling Chikusa as revenge for earlier plus Ken's having come to that conclusion on his own. If it has any more effect than that, it's accidental.

"And you still haven't told me how much it costs yet, byon. I don't know if I have enough."

For anyone else, Chikusa would assume that logic would knock them out of a stupid plan of action. However, Ken is still asking about this, and Chikusa adjusts his glasses again.

"It's not like buying groceries." He's not sounding sulky. At least, it doesn't show on his face. "There's no overall price. Every prostitute is different." At least, that's what he's assuming just based on what he's observed and heard about. Chikusa's always had Ken and Mukuro-sama. Why visit a prostitute?

Apparently Ken has completely different ideas than him. There's a soft huff. "...Anyway, just because I don't want to do anything doesn't mean I don't."

Ken gives Chikusa a curious look. He's not the smartest out of their group, not by any stretch, but he's one of the more perceptive. And even if he couldn't pin down what exactly is off about Chikusa, he senses something. He leans in closer, almost sniffing him, even though he's no longer in Wolf Channel. (Not that there'd be anything specific to sniff for even if he was.)

But something is different here and he wants to know what it is, and even if he could articulate the question, Chikusa's rarely cooperative about giving answers when it comes to personal stuff.

...then, belatedly, something clicks in his head, and he rears back indignantly. "Wait, you mean you didn't even want to give me a blowjob?!"

Ken, don't yell that sort of thing. Even in an alley.

When Ken leans in closer, Chikusa leans away out of pure contrariness. Honestly. He's not even in a Channel, so what does he think he's going to accomplish? All thoughts of that, hoewver, go flying out the window at the yell.

Chikusa squeezes his eyes shut and sighs.

One of these days, at least for things like this, Ken will learn. At least, Chikusa hopes he does.

"I was doing it because I thought you'd want one," he says, which is basically a 'no'.

If anything, Ken looks more furious now than he did when he stormed out of the cafe bathroom. He bangs a fist against the fire escape hard enough to make the whole thing rattle, then jumps to his feet and snaps a cartridge back into his mouth - which, the transformation reveals, is Wolf Channel again. Wolf Channel tends to be his standby for when he doesn't need anything specific from one of his other transformations. His words are a literal growl. "I'm outta here."

He hops the railing and drops to the ground as if it's no distance at all, rather than the better part of fifteen feet, and if Chikusa doesn't act quickly there's no doubt he's leaving to go find some more people to beat senseless. This tends to be Ken's response to any excess of emotion - he needs to physically do something with it. And, clearly, the idea of doing anything physical with Chikusa doesn't currently appeal.

Ah. He sees now. Today is a moral in why there's a reason he never says anything, locks down feelings and words away.

Even as the fire escape is rattling, Chikusa is leaping up onto his feet with more speed than is usually associated with him because what now. There's nothing particularly built into his body to help with the kind of acrobatics and endurance that keeps Ken safe as he leaps from it, but that doesn't stop Chikusa at all. He simply leaps over the railing like it's nothing more than a fence. His world rattles and shakes as he hits the ground in a roll, spins when he gets up faster than he honestly should.

"Ken!"

It's Chikusa's actions rather than his words that bring Ken up short, that have him stopping and looking back at Chikusa to make sure he's okay after that jump. (Ken knows as well as Chikusa that he doesn't have the same physical advantages Ken does. Even before channels, Ken's the more robust and athletic of the two by a long shot.) He's mad, but he doesn't want to see Chikusa hurt. ~~If he did, he'd simply beat Chikusa up rather than seeking out targets elsewhere.~~

But, more than that...Chikusa has to be really upset or panicking to take such sudden, desperate action. And that gets Ken's attention.

"...what?" he asks eventually, once he's sure Chikusa hasn't snapped those stick legs of his.

The words 'I panicked' will be pried out from between his cold dead mouth, and not a single second sooner. However, what does slip out as he sways is, "Why am I-"

Chikusa cuts himself off, mouth snapping shut, and just spends a moment swaying in place as the world reorients itself. That wasn't supposed to come out. Just another moment of things not aligning with his self, his body, and his mind.

...And frankly, there's still a chance he's snapped something, but isn't acknowledging it at all. Hard to tell while he's just standing.

"...I wasn't trying to work you up."

Ken cocks his head quizzically, like the dog he is; he heard that abortive sentence and has no idea where Chikusa was going with it.

The swaying, however, worries him. It's one thing if Chikusa's careless enough to get himself hurt fighting guys he should be able to take; it's another if he hurt himself over Ken. And since Ken figures swaying takes more energy than not swaying, Chikusa wouldn't be doing it unless he couldn't help it. So it probably means something's wrong. Instinctively, Ken shifts a little closer to him.

At Chikusa's remark, he snorts, eyes sullen. "Didn't think you were. That'd take effort, right?"

"...Wasted effort. I don't like hurting you." Besides when he's got something around Ken's throat, but that's an entirely different experience.

And... This was a kind of hurt, he thinks, although he admits he might just be making the situation worse. It's been that kind of day, after all. All his words have proven not only worthless, but backfired spectacularly.

"You don't like doing anything for anybody except Mukuro-sama." Under most circumstances, this would seem like nothing more than a simple statement of fact, and not even an entirely accurate one. Chikusa doesn't like doing things for anyone, not even Mukuro-sama. It's more that he's willing to do things he doesn't like for Mukuro-sama, because he judges Mukuro-sama to be worth it. It's that his pleasure at helping Mukuro-sama outweighs the displeasure of making an effort for him.

Ken's been given the impression that Chikusa only humors him because it would be a bigger pain not to, as opposed to Chikusa actually enjoying doing anything with him or caring about him enough to do anything for him. Coming in second behind Mukuro-sama would be understandable, the way things should be between them; coming in last place, no higher than everyone else in the world Chikusa humors simply to avoid trouble with, stings.

...Oh.

Oh.

This is slowly coming together. Probably. If he's gauging the situation correctly, and not wrong. Which is still a heavy possibility, honestly.

As his mind panics on what to do with this information, none of it shows on Chikusa's face. There's the same cool blandness as he blinks slowly, as though he's still taking it all in. Still leery of setting something off again, Chikusa asks quietly, "So because I didn't want to do it too..."

Ken huffs and looks away. He's not going to spell it out directly; he may be more direct than Chikusa, and certainly not as tsun with him as with someone like Chrome(who is still, compared to the rest of them, an outsider), but he's no more comfortable with emotional vulnerability. Besides, he doesn't really have the vocabulary for it.

"It's not hot if you're just doing it to get rid of me, stupid four-eyes."

Despite Ken's pretending it's just about the sex, it's pretty obvious that yes, Chikusa's guess was right.

It might be not be spelled out directly, but it's direct enough for Chikusa. Now the problem is just what to say back.

At least they're both horrifically awkward in this area, and it's not only Chikusa alone wondering what the hell to do. Of course, he's still doing that, eyes focused somewhere on Ken's flopped open collar as he tries to put together suitable words and not immediately just suffocate any and all emotions. Just... a few emotions.

"...I wasn't trying to get rid of you." A good start, right? Chikusa's words are still tentative in their own quiet way, however. "I thought it was what you would like after doing nothing all day."

Ken glances at him, expression unreadable. Selflessness isn't really a concept either of them are particularly familiar with, and while Ken recognizes the one-sided consideration Chikusa is suggesting, he doesn't know what to do with it. Or how to respond to it.

It's also not sufficient in terms of addressing what's bothering him.

Just how hard Ken's thinking about what to say, and how hard it is for him to articulate what's bothering him in a way he's comfortable with, is obvious by how long it takes him. There's a solid twenty seconds of silence and at least three separate shifts of expression on Ken's face before he huffs and plants his hands on his hips. Apparently his chosen method relies on self-righteous indignation.

"You should want to suck the dick of somebody as hot as me, byon."

Which is just an aggressive, braggadocious way of phrasing why don't you want me too.

This is really a strange situation, and he's actually relieved when Ken finally speaks up. It almost makes him want to offer a more immediate response himself. He doesn't do that, of course. He has more restraint than that.

...Ignoring the part where he jumped fifteen feet in a panic. A panic he will never admit to.

After a few seconds of his own quiet thinking, Chikusa murmurs, "It feels better when we're fucking." He tilts his head to the side, considering. "You're there." Which probably explains approximately jack shit, but he's not sure how else to phrase that himself.

Ken pauses at that. He'd still like for Chikusa to enjoy any kind of sex they have - Ken enjoys all kinds with either Chikusa or Mukuro or both, unreservedly - but knowing there's at least one thing Chikusa enjoys with him is mollifying. He'd started questioning whether Chikusa actually wanted to do a lot of things with him.

And Ken does agree that actually fucking is the best.

He is a little confused, though. "I'm there for blowjobs too, aren't I?" he asks, with a tilt of his head. That's a little too abstract for Ken to grasp, Chikusa.

It's a little too abstract for him, too, but guess who's never had to talk about it before? This jackass shifting in place and shrugging. If Ken wants a proper response, he'll have to do the customary waiting a minute. When it comes to Chikusa, unlike Ken being more open, he needs a little longer when it's just the two of them.

Then again, their whole life together has been one of opposites, so it's no surprise.

"It doesn't feel the same. But you and Mukuro-sama both like them..." So Chikusa doesn't mind doing them. After all, it's not something that's hard to do.

"It's not as hot if you aren't into it," Ken observes with a slight huff, folding his arms over his chest. He's trying to make it sound like his only concern is that it's not as sexy, but...the entire point of the statement is that apparently Ken's sexual gratification hinges on Chikusa enjoying himself as much as he does. And no amount of attitude can really camouflage that as well as Ken might like.

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*don't do it, forgot to add those last words, gj past sleepy self

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