badliifechoiice2 | It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake

It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake

The Maid Cafe Meme

"In these cafés, waitresses dressed in maid costumes act as servants, and treat customers as masters (and mistresses) in a private home, rather than as café patrons."

Congratulations- for whatever strange shenanigans, you've ended up working at a maid and/or butler cafe! Whether you need the cash, are doing it for shits and giggles, or Shit Just Happened, here you are. Hope you enjoy that uniform, whether it's the simple black-and-white, cosplay, or.... cat ears.

Remember your manners! Always welcome in patron as "Masters" and "Mistresses", offer wipe towels and menus at entrance, and try to drag them into spending as much money as possible. Depending on the cafe, this could mean simply food and drinks, karaoke, massages, games of all sorts, taking a (paid) picture with a patron or... going with anime tropes by slapping them in-character?

Well, some people will pay for anything.

Alternatively, maybe you're actually a patron yourself! Visiting just to say you did? Looking for a brief power trip in your life? Is this the only place where you can do paperwork for some arcane reason? Keeping an eye out for your friend who works here? No judgment, only people in cosplay who will indulge whatever nonsense is going on.

Just remember - no touching the maids or butlers, no asking for personal information, and don't be a creepy stalker. Unless you want to get in trouble, anyway.

Fill in the top level of your comment with the character's name and canon, and put in a scenario or three for people to reply to!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes.

[If anyone asked though, he had been gathering intel to make sure this place was suitable for his beloved Chikusa and not because he was stuffing his face with parfaits he kept having the waitstaff make him.

Though what a good obedient subordinate Ken was. When Mukuro had been younger, he had been wary of harming Ken too much, since it felt far too much like stepping on a little puppy's tail who was just eager to please and harmed no one. ~~Well, no one Mukuro hadn't told him to harm~~.

He canted his head to the side, glancing behind Ken and towards the cafe, a sly smirk on his face.]

Would I have you do otherwise? Unless you don't believe you're up to the task.

[Has Mukuro stopped worrying about Ken as much, or has he simply come to terms with just how much of a beating Ken can take and shrug off? Only Mukuro knows. Either way, Ken's happy.]

Kakipi thought it'd be trouble for you if I caused too much havoc. [Ken's clearly thrilled to hear that Chikusa was wrong, and there's a wicked glint in his eyes that suggests he's totally going to rub that in Chikusa's face later. WHO THINKS HE'S SO SMART NOW, HUH.] But you know best, byon! Just watch me, Mukuro-sama!

[And with that, he darts inside. The only reason it takes a whole thirty seconds for the yelling to start is because it takes Ken a few seconds to sniff out the kitchen, and then considerably more seconds to figure out the ice cream machine. One can mark the exact second someone tries to stop him by when the angry yelling shifts tones to horrified screaming.

Mukuro, if he stays outside - or even if he's just following Ken at a more leisurely pace - will get to bear witness to the scattered people who end up running out of the cafe. Most appear to be kitchen staff, and several of the late exits are covered in smears of ice cream, frosting, or both. No blood, surprisingly - but then Ken's current objectives aren't necessarily any more violent than punching people away from obstructing his path, and no one in the cafe except Chikusa would be any fun to beat up. ~~Not that Ken wouldn't do it anyway if he'd been instructed to, but such instructions he received were about the frosting vats and ice cream. Which are way more interesting anyway.~~

Mukuro can either wait for Ken to emerge on his own, or follow him inside to bear first-hand witness to the kitchen carnage. Either way, Chikusa's going to be livid.]

[Mukuro knew Ken's limits as well as he knew his own, and while he liked to keep his vessels in working condition, there was only so much he could do for the other garbage children.

Of course he was going to follow in leisurely to watch Ken hit the cafe like a hurricane, sitting idly at one of the tables and watching in amusement.]

Bring me a parfait, Ken.

[Fun fact: Chikusa was actually on break and napping in the back when this exchange started to occur. (Well, 'napping' as in closing his eyes and pretending that he could just forget existence was a thing for a while, and not proper napping.)]

[So he's even more alarmed when all the screaming starts, startled out of his seat and his hands going to the pockets where his yoyos inconspicuously lie. In one way, it's a relief when he goes into the kitchen and it's just Ken being the menace to society he's always been.]

[But. On the other hand.]

Ken!

[He doesn't say "what the fuck", but that's his what-the-fuck tone.]

[Ken is currently standing over a (mostly empty) vat of frosting, scooping some into an ice cream cone with every intention of seeing how it tastes. Which isn't to say that he's ignoring Mukuro's request, so much as that Chikusa came into the kitchen so close on the heels of it that he hasn't had the chance to react to it yet.

Then Chikusa comes in, and Ken gets briefly distracted from immediate responsiveness to Mukuro.]

Hey, Kakipi! [His voice has a very specific note to it. It's the inflection of a child going 'I know you said I couldn't do it, Mom, but Dad said it was okay, so there's no way I'm in trouble for listening to him and not you, right?' It's the tone of someone who's pretty sure they're safe, but who's hoping no one will be mad at him.] Mukuro-sama said it was okay, byon! [So everything is totally fine and they can all have fun and eat sweets and no one is mad at all, right?

It helps that Mukuro-sama's authority is totally inviolate with them.

Then he turns to Mukuro.] A parfait is one of those layered things, right? [You may want to consider having Chikusa make the parfait now that he's here, Mukuro. Ken is liable to make something questionable, that just barely follows the mechanics of a parfait.]

[Chikusa's appearance only made Mukuro's smirk grow wider, amused as always at the interactions his two beloved subordinates had. It was especially endearing that Ken would use his orders as a viable means of argument, to believe that Chikusa's annoyance would be lessened just because Mukuro had approved of his actions.

While having Chikusa make his parfait was probably the safer course, Mukuro was curious as to what Ken would actually bring him.]

Yes. Don't be stingy with the chocolate.

[Said one of the stingiest men alive but whatever.]

[It's days like this that should really make Chikusa wonder what he's doing with his life. He was just trying to get them some food money, and this is what happens.]

[He had a feeling Mukuro-sama would get involved, but he was hoping it was in a way that wasn't this.]

[See that prolonged blank stare, Mukuro? That's the Chikusa blankfaced equivalent of a kicked puppy dog look. Only without the look, and more the intention behind it. Cleaning up this mess is going to be the worst. Finally, however, with shoulders slumping him straight down into his usual slump, Chikusa turns back to Ken.]

Let me help, Ken...

[Let him have some control over this catastrophic mess so that it doesn't get messier.]

[Ken almost goes kneejerk territorial - the words 'Mukuro-sama asked me to do it, byon!' come close to leaving his mouth - but then he remembers that he's trying to appease Chikusa, to ingratiate him to this vastly better and more enjoyable plan of his and Mukuro-sama's even in the face of...well, the huge mess he's made. So he decides to be a little flexible.]

I guess you can help...but I still get to bring it to him, byon. [So mature. You chose wonderful children, Mukuro.

Then, suddenly, Ken brightens, and digs into his pocket.] Oh yeah! Check it out, Kakipi! I grabbed it out of the back office, byon. [And he pulls out...a fistful of yen. He must have made the stop even before going into the kitchen. Does that mean he actually remembered the purpose of their outing today, even with Mukuro's permission to have fun?

Either way, this frosting-smeared, literally sticky-fingered dog demon is grinning broadly and looking far too proud of himself.] I told you my way would work better, byon!

[That kicked puppy look was better on Ken, honestly, and seeing it on Chikusa was only going to get a cool look from Mukuro. Hey remember Minato? Because guess who else did? This was the least violent forms of payback he could have thought of, and Ken enjoying himself was clearly just an added bonus.

Obviously these shit children were all mature and wonderful and deserved each other.]

Extra chocolate, please.

[Now to just kick back and wait to see what kind of monstrosity was going to be made for him. Petty theft was clearly nothing of interest to him.]

[You know who did his time for Minato via hundreds of illusionary lifetimes? Chikusa is pretty sure he did. This is still highly unfair.]

[So is actually working all day and Ken ruining all of that with money Chikusa would have gotten anyway, but oh well... He sighs and accepts the yen anyway. He's pretty sure he's never coming back to work here. Or this part of town. Possibly ever if this is the result.]

...Good job, Ken. [Look at that, a compliment. He knows how Ken needs to be satisfied too, even as he's sending disgusted stares at all the frosting on the ground that he's doing his damnedest to avoid. ...So that might make it sarcasm. It's hard to tell.] Get the candy in the bottom cabinet... All of it.

[After all, Mukuro-sama said extra chocolate, didn't he? As Chikusa gets a glass, he talks to said 'patron' over his shoulder.]

Are you going to eat all of it, Mukuro-sama?

[Ken's self-satisfaction is immediately evident. As far as he's concerned, Chikusa's compliment indicates a complete success - Ken did what Mukuro wanted, he had fun doing it, and Chikusa's not mad at him. (If Chikusa's mad at Mukuro, that's not Ken's problem. It probably won't even last long enough for it to be a problem at all.) So he happily starts digging out supplies at Chikusa's request.] You got it, Kakipi.

[To be fair to Ken's method, Chikusa, he probably grabbed a lot more than one's days wages would have earned you. So there is that net positive, even if none of you are able to show your faces in this part of town again. Ken's methods may be destructive and disruptive, but they're not actually unproductive.]

Not all of it.

[But probably a good amount. Mukuro's sweet tooth and love for junk food was rivaled only by his trashy nature, in all honesty.

He crossed his ankles delicately, tucking them under his chair as he watched the other two boys in amusement. Really, Chikusa's fears about not being able to come back into this part of town would be unfounded. Illusions were useful in this sort of situation, and Mukuro was inclined to show up here again tomorrow just because he could.]

[Don't be too sure of that, Ken. Chikusa's PA bullshit can be hidden under a veil of an almost aggressive dedication to laziness, but now that he's actually doing something?]

[Yes, he is getting one of the small cups with one hand as he starts pointing out the chocolates in the pile Ken has amassed.]

Start crushing them.

[And that is how Chikusa starts guiding Ken along in how to make a cup parfait of at least somewhat decent quality. Some ice cream, plain cream, and lots of crushed candy layers later, and Chikusa adds the finishing touches: decapitated Peep heads that have been carefully cut to hang on the rim of the cup. He does this with the same bland expression as usual, like he's not being a brat.]

[With that done, he nudges the cup to Ken wordlessly. He's done his part, Ken gets to do whatever now.]

[For all his feral nature, Ken isn't bad at following directions when he's motivated to do so - which is in most cases where Mukuro's involved. Taking orders from Chikusa doesn't always go as smoothly, but since this is for Mukuro's benefit and Ken recognizes that Chikusa knows more about parfaits than he does, he's willing enough to let Chikusa take the lead here.

And maybe he's still a little overeager to nudge Chikusa into forgetting his wild disregard for his orders to not wreck the cafe. There's a definite air of 'I had my fun, now see how obedient I'm being, there's definitely no need to punish me later' about his eagerness to please. It's always been laughably obvious how much easier Ken is to read than the rest of their group.

Once Chikusa hands him the cup, Ken proudly carries it over to Mukuro, making sure not a single Peep head is lost on the way. The passive-aggressive elements of the parfait are way too subtle for him and go right over his head. For all he knows, it's perfectly normal to decorate a parfait with decapitated marshmallow birds.]

One chocolate parfait, byon!

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Meanwhile, in an alternate universe when Ken and Mukuro get some 1-on-1 time

\o/

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