badliifechoiice2 | hello my name is doctor paradinight

hello my name is doctor paradinight

It had started out as almost-sort-of a joke, in that Leorio's sense of humor is crude and sometimes he likes working up his boyfriend. Then it had, well, kind of maybe started a conversation. Then that conversation had meant taking out a die to make up a decision for them before they started bickering... They'd started bickering anyway because Kurapika said Leorio had cheated (he might have, listen), Leorio said Kurapika did (he's seen those hands!!), and it had taken a little bit before they'd finally rolled the die with no bickering from either of them.

Then again, considering that Lady Luck had smooched him right on the cheek for the die to roll in his favor, it's not like Leorio had any reason to bicker.

It had taken a little more preparation, after that, not discounting any bickering (playful or otherwise). He'd wanted to do this right, after all, and, well... Who knows better about a doctor's office than someone studying to be one? So he might have gotten into it, a little bit, although he already had. He doesn't have a top notch Hunter's salary yet... but Leorio has something better, and that's being a penny pincher. He'd already been getting stuff for his apartment's cheap study anyway. Some basic tools just to look professional set to the side on his desk, a bench covered in paper to give it that medical look... It's bullshit, but it's trained bullshit. He could probably run a mildly illegal practice this way, really.

He won't (yet) but it's something to keep in mind.

Now, the finishing touch: a nice white doctor's coat, picked up for cheap at a thrift store when he'd been snooping around for other reasons. Leorio fusses with it in the bathroom, well aware that once he's done, they're going right into it. It had been in a thrift store, true, but he knows how to make the most of what he's got. It's been his whole life. All it had needed is a little touching up and voila. He straightens out his back, tugging on the coat to straighten it out. He looks good. Yeah. It makes him think, briefly, of the far future where he might wear this sort of coat for real... but it's the near future, with Kurapika in it, that has his attention.

Alright, this should be long enough for them both to be ready. He'd just told Kurapika to wing it as the patient and not worry too much; all the actual medical bullshitting will be with him. Hopefully he takes it to mind. For now, Leorio just takes a deep breath and steps out of the bathroom over to the closed door where his boyfriend waits behind.

Yeah, he has this.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting," he says as he opens the door, faking professional unfamiliarity. It's not quite on point. Leorio can lie, especially if it means cheating in a dice game or arm wrestling or anything... but he's someone who wears his heart on his sleeve just as easily to anyone who's paying attention. It's almost painfully obvious that he's trying to gauge how Kurapika is taking in his appearance, white coat over carefully tailored waistcoat and slacks. Be attracted! Please be attracted! Are you? I want to be, for you. "I'm Doctor Paradinight."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Just knowing that information would be enough to get Leorio into a state of smugness insufferable to any sensible person. Fortunately for Kurapika, he has no idea. He still feels like he's being graded on how well he does, as a matter of fact.

That's half the only reason he can hold himself back from just shoving his face down inbetween Kurapika's legs, admittedly, which he's not sure would be a top move or still a bottom one. (Or just a sign of Kurapika probably training him really well.) Doing his best, Leorio pulls the pants down just far enough to dig underneath the curve of Kurapika's ass and lets his fingers rest along the bony press of his hips. It's just meant to be a pause, a transition as he tries to figure out a good way to transition this into something sexier, preferably his mouth on Kurapika's junk.

Except...

He can't help it. It's a natural consequence of what happens when he's left staring at Kurapika's body too long, trying to pull himself together for something really sexy but with part of his brain elsewhere. Or maybe it's just habit. Something has to be to blame for how his eye catches how Kurapika's hip presses just a little too bony and sharp against his palm. "You don't eat nearly enough," he finds himself murmuring.

Kurapika lifts his hips, just slightly, enough to help Leorio pull his pants down. He doesn't want to move too much, though, to risk breaking what contact he's getting; as nice of a change as this is, between the slow pace and Leorio's comfortable weight over him, the sheer amount of waiting is getting to be just a little bit agonizing, and it's taking some willpower not to let himself lean into Leorio's hands too much.

...That, however, sure is a nice mood-killer. "What?"

They quite possibly should never have let Leorio get into a doctor position, no matter how fake, over his chronically overworked boyfriend. Then again, Leorio (and some of the other people who love Kurapika despite that time he disappeared for over a year) would argue that maybe Kurapika should take better care of himself.

Unfortunately for him, Leorio isn't the one tied up or on the bottom.

For all that it's definitely a mood killer, Leorio himself sure hasn't noticed. Why the hell should he? His mood has already been killed once he's started to realized just how much his boyfriend has been neglecting himself. Sure, it's not exactly a complete surprise. Kurapika made it clear from Day 1 that he would sacrifice almost anything, even his own pride, to go after his goals, and Leorio has seen him put himself into worse physical condition over it all. That sure as hell doesn't mean he has to like it, and it shows as his lips curl underneath a scowl.

"Look at how badly your ribs show, you're definitely not at a good enough weight! I've fuckin' told you to not forget lunch." Always being told that his boyfriend would do it 'later'- later his ass! "And look at some of these old scars, you didn't get them properly treated at all, did you? I know some can't be helped when we're hunters, but you still need to take care of your body!" It's the body of the guy he loves so damn much, after all, but his love can't do shit if Kurapika doesn't keep up with it for his own body. Accusingly, he points a finger up at his face.

"You need to treat yourself more! Indulge a little for once in your life, shit!"

Oh goddammit this was not in any way how this was supposed to go. Kurapika scowls, leaning slightly upward as if that's going to do anything at all to help the situation. "Are you serious, Leorio? Last I checked, indulging was exactly what we were supposed to be doing right now."

No comment, of course, on how much he may or may not have been eating, or what measures may or may not have been taken to treat his injuries. After all, he's still alive; what's the problem?

Leorio could yell for a very long time on what the problem is, and that's what this is quite possibly gearing up to be. His finger sure as hell doesn't leave from where it's still pointed accusingly at Kurapika's nose. Elsewhere, his other hand makes sure to keep Kurapika's hip where it is. At the very least, he wants to avoid getting kicked in the stomach again, you know? Or, considering their positions, worse places.

"Me eating you out isn't the same as you remembering to eat!" Yes, that might have been where he was going to go there, although it's a little late right now. He could only keep that in for so long anyway. "And you didn't answer the question! You definitely haven't been taking care of yourself!"

Jeez, Leorio, way to rub it in how much better this was going to be if you hadn't decided to get all concerned at him.

It's not like he doesn't expect sudden, pushy concern from Leorio, of course; that would be ridiculous, it's just a part of who Leorio is as a person. Hell, the relentlessness with which Leorio cares about people is part of why Kurapika loves him to begin with - but that doesn't mean it can't get annoying sometimes.

"Well, as far as I can tell, there's not much point to answering, because you've clearly already made up your mind!" He doesn't think to kick Leorio again, or to make any effort to get his wrists free. Instead, all he does is lean forward to argue from closer to Leorio. "I'm fine, Leorio. I'm doing what I can in my very limited free time, which, by the way, is one reason I'd very much like to get on with this already!"

Honestly, it's kind of funny- when he's not in the middle of it, as he is now- how the two of them always get right in each other's faces whenever they're arguing. It's been like that since day 1, and their days together reaching into the hundreds hasn't changed a damn thing.

Including how Leorio leans right in back, jaw set in that stubborn way that says he's hanging onto this stupid argument because he's just as much so. "Your time is limited because you make it that way!" he snaps, bristling. He's pretty sure a good solid chunk of work is Kurapika being himself, after all.

But you know what? Fine. Fine! If he's going to be such a stubborn asshole about this, then he can be a stubborn asshole about it, and Leorio will wear him down because that's the only thing that ever works. So after a long stare off, Leorio finally reaches up to move Kurapika's body. Sorry, boyfriend, you're being moved to your stomach now. Which will probably annoy him, but oh god damn fucking well!! It'll help to move the rest of his pants as well, from where they might have gotten caught between body and floor. It might seem like it's just going to happen like that, no more playing about it...

Except, instead of going right for the goods, as it were, Leorio shifts back a little bit and takes a breath. Alright, he thinks he remembers how this goes... He doesn't have anything fancy to add onto this, but, whatever. With his hands carefully smoothed out, he presses lightly down into the bottom of Kurapika's calf. Sliding them up, he follows the curve of his leg, the dip at his knee, then up again sliding a little to the side, going from the ass to hip.

If his free time is so limited, then he'll just take his own sweet time with it!

Kurapika just scowls wordlessly back at Leorio - until he finds himself being flipped over, which gets a startled grunt. He shoots a sharp glare over his shoulder at Leorio, but doesn't protest... especially not when Leorio finally gets back to getting his pants off. Took long enough.

Apparently, though, it's going to take even longer. Which might be for the best given how goddamn efficient that argument was at killing the mood. Fine, he'll deal with it. He rests his head on the floor, scowling off to the side somewhere and just... waiting, basically, lying still except for occasional squirms when Leorio's hands land somewhere sensitive (or ticklish).

Frankly, it's amazing how efficient they are at cockblocking themselves sometimes. The kick to the stomach didn't do it, but, well, their own bickering is always more efficient than any actual hits.

Not that Leorio is doing what he's doing to get them back into the mood. Well, okay, maybe, if it happens, he wouldn't exactly complain, sure. However, there's a purpose to the way his moves his hands, up one leg, then the other, graduating up to the back. He knows for a fact that Kurapika has to have knots up the ass- well, up the back, whatever, it's not literal. What is literal is the fact that he knows how tightly wound his boyfriend keeps himself.

The trick is just finding the actual physical proof... which will definitely have him win this argument.

Somehow.

Don't question it.

Leorio sure hasn't bothered to, focused more with keeping his weight on Kurapika's legs as he's moved upwards, and taking in the feel of his skin beneath his hands. It'd be weird to him, any other time, how different going slow makes this whole experience... All his focus on Kurapika's body, the way it feels beneath him... if he weren't so engrossed in making sure he does this just right. He's still a student when it comes to this kind of massaging stuff, and he wants to make sure he gets it right.

...

The longer Kurapika waits, the more he's coming to suspect that Leorio is actually not getting back to what they were supposed to be doing here at all. The hands on his back, moving over the tight spots under his skin from where his constant tension has taken its toll, are far too professional to be leading into what Kurapika would rather they be. It's not the same as the feigned professionalism Leorio had been putting on before.

Kurapika twists around, his range of motion limited by his bound wrists, to scowl at Leorio again. "What are you doing?"

"Hey, dammit, you moved-" The grumbles of annoyance are only half there, his hands stuttering to a pause as Kurapika's body shifts against his hands. He doesn't want to mess up and touch somewhere he didn't mean to, after all, especially with Kurapika being such a sensitive douchebag. Still, he thought he'd been doing pretty good there...Or maybe it's just because Kurapika has worked himself up into such a mess that even a shitty amateur can manage to get out a knot or two.

Still, he guesses he has a question to answer, and he sends a sulky sort of glare right back at his boyfriend. "Don't question your doctor," he says, well aware that they've tossed that particular bit out a while ago. "Anyway, I'm taking care of you. What, are you going to tell me it doesn't feel good?"

"This isn't taking care of me, Leorio, it's wasting time!"

And he... okay, he can't honestly say it doesn't, but this is not the kind of good feeling he was looking for here. He squirms under Leorio's hands, mostly just to make things difficult for him. "Either hurry it up or untie me."

"And maybe you need to waste a little- hey!"

This prick. This absolute prick. How did they get to this point? Even as he tries to use one hand to grab at Kurapika's wrists and the other at his hips, Leorio isn't entirely sure about the answer. Things just kinda got stupid and frustrating, and here they are.

"Stay still, you!"

"No!" Is he being immature? Absolutely. But then, it's not like Leorio isn't, so it probably evens out.

"Are you intending to do what we came here for or not?"

They're both immature assholes, which makes it funnier that everyone else sees Kurapika as the smart and calm-headed one, at least to Leorio. Then again, most people probably haven't had the privilege of front row seats to Kurapika's temper and dumb bickering alike.

"Maybe if you just stayed still and enjoyed yourself, it would happen!"

Listen, he works hard to make sure he appears just how he needs to to those around him. It's just that, with Leorio, it doesn't really matter.

"Maybe I would stay still and enjoy myself if you were doing what we'd agreed on!" Sorry, Leorio, he's going to start thrashing again.

He could make an argument that what they agreed on has already gone very clearly south and fuckways, without the fucking, so why even bother sticking to the pretense? On the opposite end of the spectrum, he could argue that massage is totally a form of doctoring, and Kurapika can shut the fuck up, because he's not the one going after multiple medical degrees.

Leorio doesn't do that.

Instead, he swears and, giving up, just starts to flatten himself on top of Kurapika.

THRASH OUT OF THIS, DOUCHEBAG.

Kurapika has suffered some great indignities in his life, most of which have involved Leorio lately. So, really, this is pretty much on-brand.

He yells and keeps struggling from under his boyfriend, trying to wriggle away - but, in the end, Leorio has the advantages of, first, being much bigger than him, and, second, not having his hands literally tied, meaning there's not a lot Kurapika can do that wouldn't risk actually harming him. As pissed as he may be, that's not an option.

Eventually, Kurapika's struggles slow, and he finally drops his head back on the ground, catching his breath. "Asshole."

You know, if he'd been offered the mental image of Kurapika tied up, red-faced, worn out on the floor an hour before, Leorio would have jumped on that meaning he's actually a great top who can tug Kurapika to the same level that he usually ends up.

Instead, here they are, and Leorio slumps atop the rage-filled poptart that is his boyfriend with a huff.

"Takes one to know one." They're both assholes, a fact they both knew from Day 1. "I thought you were always complainin' about me being a prick who rushes too much."

He can't actually argue with that, yeah.

"That's because you are." He's not wrong there, okay. "You do know there's a... a middle ground, right? Between rushing into sex and turning it into an actual medical checkup?"

"If you took care of yourself, it wouldn't be an actual medical checkup." He's right on that and they both know it! Or maybe it's just him that knows it, and Kurapika is, as usual, fighting against the very idea that he's more right about him that something.

But, ugh- Pushing himself up onto one elbow so that he's not completely flattening Kurapika, Leorio ruffles his hair in frustration. "Besides, that last bit wasn't a medical checkup!"

See, Kurapika can believe that, partly just because Leorio of all people wouldn't be putting off sex unless he saw a reason for it. It is, in Kurapika's opinion, a stupid reason, because Kurapika is doing just fine and doesn't need a checkup, but it's why this is happening to begin with.

He raises an eyebrow sardonically, which would probably look slightly better if he weren't having to twist around awkwardly to peer at Leorio over his shoulder. "Then what was it? Because if that was meant to be foreplay, it seemed awfully professional for you."

"Shut up." Eloquent comebacks as usual from him, he knows. Pushing himself up a little further until he's straddling Kurapika's legs, he glances away with his hand shifting down and away from his hair so that he can scrub it across his face. Unlike some people, he can't just get embarrassed and blush and have that be it. It's just, well. Embarrassing. Obviously. So, like a flustered idiot, he just scowls at air and rubs at his face like that will keep the skin from turning red.

"If it seems like that, it's just because-" Ugh. It's not a big deal, but he feels a little dumb right now anyway. Leorio's hand keeps rubbing up and down one cheek. "I've just been taking massage classes. As, you know, part of my studies. Gel said it would be a good idea." You know, one of their coworkers, the people Leorio regularly talks to. Well, at this stage he guesses she's probably more along the lines of one of his teachers considering she's such a high ranking Poison Hunter, even if they do work with each other.

Honestly, if anything, the friction might be making him redder. It's kind of cute, frankly, as disinclined as Kurapika might be to say as much right now.

Instead, he's preoccupied with considering that, frowning into his own shoulder. "So... it was a massage," he says, perhaps somewhat pointlessly given that Leorio... pretty much just said that.

It's another long few seconds before he admits, "It wasn't bad."

Someone stop the presses, Kurapika is actually admitting to something. Leorio pauses, fingers still along his stubble, and his mouth does that slight shift downwards. When he's wearing his shades, it's a little action that helps him peer over the top. Even when he's not wearing them, well... Now it's just a habit.

"...So, what, I can keep goin'?"

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject