badliifechoiice2 | hello my name is doctor paradinight

hello my name is doctor paradinight

It had started out as almost-sort-of a joke, in that Leorio's sense of humor is crude and sometimes he likes working up his boyfriend. Then it had, well, kind of maybe started a conversation. Then that conversation had meant taking out a die to make up a decision for them before they started bickering... They'd started bickering anyway because Kurapika said Leorio had cheated (he might have, listen), Leorio said Kurapika did (he's seen those hands!!), and it had taken a little bit before they'd finally rolled the die with no bickering from either of them.

Then again, considering that Lady Luck had smooched him right on the cheek for the die to roll in his favor, it's not like Leorio had any reason to bicker.

It had taken a little more preparation, after that, not discounting any bickering (playful or otherwise). He'd wanted to do this right, after all, and, well... Who knows better about a doctor's office than someone studying to be one? So he might have gotten into it, a little bit, although he already had. He doesn't have a top notch Hunter's salary yet... but Leorio has something better, and that's being a penny pincher. He'd already been getting stuff for his apartment's cheap study anyway. Some basic tools just to look professional set to the side on his desk, a bench covered in paper to give it that medical look... It's bullshit, but it's trained bullshit. He could probably run a mildly illegal practice this way, really.

He won't (yet) but it's something to keep in mind.

Now, the finishing touch: a nice white doctor's coat, picked up for cheap at a thrift store when he'd been snooping around for other reasons. Leorio fusses with it in the bathroom, well aware that once he's done, they're going right into it. It had been in a thrift store, true, but he knows how to make the most of what he's got. It's been his whole life. All it had needed is a little touching up and voila. He straightens out his back, tugging on the coat to straighten it out. He looks good. Yeah. It makes him think, briefly, of the far future where he might wear this sort of coat for real... but it's the near future, with Kurapika in it, that has his attention.

Alright, this should be long enough for them both to be ready. He'd just told Kurapika to wing it as the patient and not worry too much; all the actual medical bullshitting will be with him. Hopefully he takes it to mind. For now, Leorio just takes a deep breath and steps out of the bathroom over to the closed door where his boyfriend waits behind.

Yeah, he has this.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting," he says as he opens the door, faking professional unfamiliarity. It's not quite on point. Leorio can lie, especially if it means cheating in a dice game or arm wrestling or anything... but he's someone who wears his heart on his sleeve just as easily to anyone who's paying attention. It's almost painfully obvious that he's trying to gauge how Kurapika is taking in his appearance, white coat over carefully tailored waistcoat and slacks. Be attracted! Please be attracted! Are you? I want to be, for you. "I'm Doctor Paradinight."

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Kurapika can't claim that he's not a tiny bit bitter about how that roll of the dice turned out. Well... okay, yes, he could absolutely claim that, but it would be a lie. But, there's no helping the way it turned out. So he sits patiently on the paper-covered bench and waits for Leorio to finish changing.

He looks up at the sound of the door opening, and-- oh. He does look good like that. Kurapika does his best to keep from checking his boyfriend out too obviously, since it's not really time for that yet - but he definitely gives Leorio a quick look-over.

Then he's back "in-character" just about immediately, quietly impressed that Leorio is even trying to keep up the roleplaying part, instead of just being a jackass about this from the start. He gives a small nod, and a smile that's just a bit too fond for the supposed situation, despite his efforts. "I wasn't waiting too long. It's nice to meet you."

He realizes, vaguely, that he's not entirely sure how these appointments are supposed to go. It's not like he's in the habit of scheduling regular check-ups.

Hey, if Kurapika wanted to break character a little, check him out some more, it's not as if Leorio would complain. As it is, such a quick look over is enough to make him almost unsure... but that smile isn't. Unable to stop himself, he smiles right back- that almost ridiculous smile that curves up across his whole face, eyes blatantly shining in their own affection.

Can anyone blame him, if he gets to make Kurapika smile like that?

It takes him a split second to remember what he's supposed to be doing, and Leorio hurries his head down, mouth twisting itself into knots as he tries to stop grinning. He brought a clipboard in with him, because papers on clipboards are the best way to bullshit, and he tries to busy himself with that as he closes the door behind him. Right, doctor, doctor. Sexy doctor, just, in a minute. "So, I got some of the paperwork from up front-" That is a huge bullshit lie, but they're roleplaying, so it's fine. "But why don't you tell me about why you're here yourself?"

It's a concession for winning the dice roll. Kurapika is such a control freak, he could at least give this little bit: making up whatever the reason is he's seeing his friendly neighborhood doctor.

...But Leorio would be a filthy fucking liar if he said he wasn't hoping it was a "below the waist" issue. Listen. He's a simple guy.

At least Kurapika isn't the worst one here at staying in-character, it seems - and his brief lapse did win him that stupid, goofy smile. So, that's a plus.

He almost has to laugh as Leorio starts going over that probably-blank paper, but he restrains himself again. Apparently, now, it's his turn to come up with the 'story'. He thinks it over for just a few moments - it's not a long hesitation, but his answer isn't quite immediate.

Admittedly, that's partly because he has to consider whether to take this seriously or just take the opportunity to screw around with Leorio. Tell him it's a problem with his ears, or something. But, after that brief pause, he answers, as smoothly as if he hadn't just had to figure it out, "I've been having trouble with my hip."

That seems like a good start.

Yesss. More than well aware of what a prick his boyfriend can be and thus what the alternative could have been, Leorio tries to hide his fist pump close to his opposite side even as he sets the board down- and his grocery list, thanks- onto a nearby surface. He's also trying very very hard not to grin like a complete horndog, which he feels like he should be praised for.

Damn. Sexy roleplay is harder than it looks. People in porn really are true actors.

"If it's your hip, then I might need to remove some of your clothing to get a better look at it," he says, a bit of a grin tugging at his mouth despite his best efforts. This just a little bit of bullshit, but, it's fine. It's not like his practicing in school, it's all for fun. "If that's fine with you, anyway." Look at him, being good, and not immediately trying to undress Kurapika.

Kurapika can only guess how hard Leorio is working right now not to rush this, and he appreciates that. There wouldn't be much point to all this setup if Leorio just stripped him down the second he had half an excuse.

Kurapika nods, allowing himself a slight smile again. He's not sure how long either of them will be able to keep this up, honestly. Maintaining a facade when it's a matter of life or death is one thing, this is quite another. "Of course."

He guesses that, normally, he would probably do this part himself. But, instead, he just lifts his hips slightly to make it easier for Leorio.

It's definitely the kind of thing which would normally be in the hands of the patient. You know. Give them a little bit of dignity in the awkward situation that is stripping down to a stranger.

But they aren't strangers. They're boyfriends, engaging in a ridiculous little scenario, and Leorio has absolutely zero reservations in heading right over to where Kurapika is sitting. Listen. Listen. He's been patient for longer than a whole minute! That's some impressive willpower right there, okay? Even then, he doesn't just whip 'em right off.

It's tempting, he'll admit. Kurapika looks fantastic naked, mostly because he always seems covered toe to collarbone, and Leorio can't help but feel a little giddy when he gets to see the opposite. However, there's one thing better than looking... and that's touching. One hand follows the curve of Kurapika's back, helping him lower himself onto the bench a little over the sound of shifting paper- hip problems, right? Gotta lay down for that. The other is already sliding underneath the waistband of his pants, rough and calloused fingers grazing along Kurapika's skin.

"Trust me," he says, face too close to hide the way he's grinning. "I'm a professional."

Kurapika lays down carefully, his eyes staying fixed on Leorio. His skin twitches slightly under Leorio's fingers - the first actual contact in all this. Having to wait, on its own, definitely adds something; it's a nice change of pace, given how he's gotten used to Leorio's usual, overeager rushing.

Then that line has him struggling not to laugh, his mouth pressing into a thin line to keep himself from smiling too hard. "I would hope so. Wouldn't want this done by, say, an unsupervised student."

Wha-

EXCUSE-

This absolute little shit he's horribly attracted to and has already made the decision that he's going to stick around whether he likes it or not.

Kurapika's front row seat to Leorio's face journey is probably a hilarious one, allowing him to get a clear view of every expression that passes by in rapid succession. He'd be offended if it wasn't actually true. That simple fact doesn't stop the rather comical look of startled and exaggerated betrayal, however, or the absolutely grumpy sulking which follows right afterwards.

Listen. Listen! Okay, so maybe he isn't a certified doctor yet. He's still working on that with Cheadle, and all his classes. But he can at least still qualify as a medic, right? Like, a field medic? Cut him some slack here!!

However...

Slowly, matching the creep of his hand along Kurapika's skin, his own huffy scowl begins to twist as well. It's when his fingers have ghosted up past the tender skin along Kurapika's waist to the very first curve of a rib does it become clear just what the end expression is going to be.

Leorio might not be a certified doctor (yet), but he's definitely graduated from the school of Smug Jackasses.

He's always figured himself to be pretty good with his hands, for all sorts of things, and that's an extra good skill to have in bed. Coincidentally, after you've been in bed with a person enough times, you start to learn all sorts of little details. You know... Like what spots on their body get them jerking in arousal and more because they're ticklish.

An elbow to the side of his head might be incoming, even as he expertly flutters his fingertips against Kurapika's ribs, but Leorio is determined to not regret a thing.

Kurapika is, in fact, too busy enjoying that face journey to realize until a moment too late where it's going, and the beginnings of a frown pull at his mouth. "Leorio--"

Yep, definitely too late. Kurapika yelps and twists away from the tickling, or, at least, tries to, gasping with laughter despite himself. "S-stop-- ha-- Leorio!"

"Doctor Leorio!" he crows, definitely too into getting back at his normally faux calm-headed boyfriend to remember that he's supposed to be using his surname for this. It doesn't really matter.

What matters is getting Kurapika's face a nice rosy red from forced hysterical laughter, or at least forcing him to concede, both being a rare enough occurrence for him to find a really stupid kind of pride in it.

There is, unfortunately, basically no chance of Kurapika actually conceding, ever, because that's how he is. He is turning red - but that might be more satisfying if it weren't for the fact that, in the midst of his thrashing, he manages to pull a foot up and kick his boyfriend in the stomach.

It's probably good that he took his shoes off before sitting on the bench.

Leorio regrets nothing. Even if there is a foot, buried in his gut, propelling upwards the most strangled grunt that could exist, and possibly also propelling him off the bench. However, unfortunately for Kurapika, his boyfriend is also a stubborn douchebag. This is a fact best demonstrated by his months long campaign to get an email address, the literal hundreds of voicemails that fill up Kurapika's phone at any given time...

And the fact that, as he's falling off of the bench, he's grabbing onto Kurapika's leg to force him to follow suit.

He's taking you down with him.

Wow Kurapika can't believe he's been betrayed like this?? Even though he technically did the betraying first, but, listen.

They go tumbling off the bench, and Kurapika lands on Leorio with a grunt. He takes just a moment to catch his breath before grumbling, "Was that necessary?"

Having Kurapika land on him is definitely what he needs for his bruised stomach, thank you, however did you know. At least it wouldn't be the first time his torso has taken a beating.

"I was checking your physicals," he coughs out, in the most unbelievable lie ever. "I didn't think you would kick." Although maybe he should have expected it, coming from Kurapika of all people.

"Oh, is that what you call it."

He lets out a breath and pushes himself up so that he's at least not lying with his face almost on Leorio's shoulder anymore. He's not sure if this means they're trying to get back into character right away, or just that Leorio is being a dick. "Well, I'm sorry if I hurt you."

Not for the kick in and of itself, but he would rather not do actual damage.

The answer to that unspoken question is 'yes', especially the dick part. Despite both answers and context, however, Kurapika will still find Leorio's hand having somehow found its way to linger by the curve of his thigh. For whatever other faults he might have- which apparently includes 'tickling his boyfriend until he gets kicked off a bench'- Leorio certainly keeps his eye on the prize at times.

At least that means it won't be a surprise to find Leorio not really looking any worse for the wear, although his expression seems to be struggling between grumbling about the kick and almost amused. Kicking your boyfriend, after all, isn't really what's supposed to happen in the bedroom. ~~If you're not Hisoka, any-fucking-way.~~ It's so stupid that it's funny.

"I've been kicked worse," is what he manages after a moment, still maybe sort of sulking. It's true. He's definitely been kicked worse. Sometimes even by Kurapika, depending on the situation. Before he can grumble any further, however, or even make fun of him, an idea almost visibly goes off behind his eyes. "Want to keep that from happening again?"

Well, it doesn't seem like he's badly hurt, at least - though the sulking is still, uh. Far from ideal.

At least he suddenly seems to have recovered, which is... uh. Suspicious. Kurapika raises his eyebrows slightly. "How so?"

Definitely suspicious, and so it should be no surprise when the hand lingering along Kurapika's thigh moves up to somewhere a little further up and joined by its partner. It'd taken a year or so for Leorio to admit that Kurapika is honestly the better fighter out of the two of them, because of course he would be. His goal was to go after some of the most dangerous people in the world, and to earn others like them to rely on him.

In contrast, Leorio has always been training to be a doctor.

But he's been training to be a doctor in the slums for most of his life. It's only recently, later, in his life that he's studied surrounded by clean white walls and enveloped by the smell of things too sharp for his nose. Nah, most of his life, all his studies have been on streets slick with oil grime, his knuckles bloody and bruised from clearing room so that he could fumble cleaning up a friend who got into a scrape, or a friend of a friend, or just some person he'd seen and thought they needed help. Med students get to learn what muscles have what names. Dumbasses learning scraps of medical knowledge on the streets get to learn sort of the same, only then their muscles learn how to grow a little firmer and push a little harder.

So, yeah, Leorio knows he can't beat his boyfriend in a fight, but he knows he can beat him in simple raw strength. That's the kind of thing which comes in handy as his hands hold onto him just right, keeping him right in place while his feet push and shift, reversing their positions.

Like this, knees bent against the floor and body curved over Kurapika's, Leorio feels like he might almost be able to turn this back around to where it was supposed to be, maybe, kind of. He definitely feels like he could when he slides one hand out from where it had cushioned Kurapika against the floor, and instead goes to gather his hands at the wrists. (Another area in which he can beat his boyfriend; Kurapika needs two when he's pinning him.)

"If you're going to react violently," he says, fingers reaching up along his own shirt, "then I guess I'll just have to restrain you, won't I?" Reaching their destination, his fingers curl over the knot at his collar, tugging loose his tie until it flows easily along the crook of his fingers and exposes the curve of his throat.

He's not sure if Kurapika will let him tie him up, but he's kind of eager to see if he can get away with it, now. Fancy knots like the ones that are done on him are a little bit out of Leorio's expertise, sure. Still, shit doesn't need to be fancy to be hot as hell.

Kurapika startles when Leorio flips him over, grabbing onto his shoulders on reflex. That doesn't last long, though, as it's only a moment later that Leorio pins his wrists over his head. Kurapika blinks, his surprise lingering on his face for a couple moments. Ah. So that's how he plans on turning this back around.

"...I suppose so. To be safe." Kurapika smiles, making sure his wrists relax under Leorio's hand, despite the little thrill of excitement in his stomach. Maybe this is salvageable after all.

There it is again, that curl of his lips which could only be made all the more tell-tale of Leorio's quiet delighted pleasure if he had a tail wagging frantically behind him. Funnily enough, it's the same kind of expression he wears whenever Kurapika is the one dominating their bed and bothers to give him any kind of praise or satisfied look in turn. What can he say? He's easy to please, and eager to please.

Besides, it takes a lot to have Kurapika go along with being the one on bottom... especially after a brief dumb scuffle which started with tickling and ended with a kick to the stomach.

Let him have the moment, even if only so he can slide the tie completely loose and free from his neck. It's a good sturdy material, like most of the clothes he wears to look slick. He can't afford much- it's why a lot of his clothes are casual thrift store finds admittedly- but he makes sure to at least get good ties, and suits when he can manage them. Image makes the man, or something? Meanwhile, ties make good makeshift bondage, which is really important here as he winds them around Kurapika's wrists and binds them in a good knot that's, hopefully, not too tight.

And because he's not a complete asshole, he makes sure to follow up on that last bit. "How's that feel?" he asks, one thumb tracing circles against the tender skin just beneath where the tie is wound up, his eyes on Kurapika's face with honest sincerity.

Honestly, after getting kicked off the bench and still trying to keep up the scenario, Kurapika figures he's earned it. Not from the dice roll, of course - that didn't count and was still bullshit. But what's happened has happened, and he might as well go along with it now.

Kurapika gives a small nod, his fingers twitching slightly at the gentle touch of Leorio's thumb, and keeps his eyes locked on Leorio's. "Just fine. That should work nicely."

Shit. Shit. Why is it all the hotter when Kurapika looks straight at him like that? Leorio has no god damn idea how he's going to hold himself back, when that has the a pit of hot ember warming up the bottom of his stomach.

The answer to that is, frankly, he doesn't. For all that he's supposed to be just getting rid of the pants a little bit, "hip problem" and all, Leorio's hands wander a little further than that. Even as one tugs at his pants, making sure they're loose enough to tug down, the other one slips underneath his shirt. Just- he likes to touch, alright? And with Kurapika just, right here, beneath him, hands bound over his head because let Leorio get away with it, those eyes focused right on his... Listen. It's all enough to completely forget that he's been kicked at all today, and also almost enough to make him forget he's supposed to be playing a good doctor. Not completely! Just... enough to have a hand slide under, rough pads gliding over skin and his callouses brushing against the sensitive curves that are Kurapika's ribs. Not with any intent to mess with him, this time. If there's any ticklish sensation, it's completely unintentional.

There's no way he's going to fuck up when Kurapika is actually letting him do this.

It takes a frankly amazing amount of willpower to stop his hand from going up any further than up, a fact that is probably pretty obvious with the way Leorio's gaze keeps flicking up from Kurapika's face to where his shirt has been pushed up because of the hand underneath it. He really wants to go further. He really wants to! But he's going to be really good and pull his hand out.

(That sort of makes it worse, actually, seeing Kurapika's shirt crumpled up lopsidedly and exposing his waist like this. Just- something about the disheveled nature of it on Kurapika of all people gets him all worked up. Shit. He's really not going to last, is he?)

But pants. Right. Pants. Tearing his gaze away from Kurapika's, because he thinks that might help a little bit, he finally gets both hands along his boyfriend's hips. As he slips his fingers beneath the waistband, Leorio kind of figures why Kurapika ties him up so much. Seeing that first brush of blond down past his hips, right before hips end and those strong legs begin, well, he has to take a breath. Maybe a little greedily, his hands settle right along both sides of Kurapika's hips.

"So," he says, voice a tad too rough as he tries to rein in how absurdly turned on and attracted to his boyfriend he is right now, "you said it was your hip, right?"

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