[There's no way that edge of steel would go past him. An obedient nod.]
Whenever you have use of us next, Mukuro-sama.
[They'd drop everything and go to him, without question. They're his, after all. They have been for many years. Nothing could change that. All that, within one simple sentence, before he reached over to accept another chip.]
I'll let him know. [A pause, but not because he's eating. He twisted the chip in his hand, gathering his thoughts.] ...What do you wish from this, Mukuro-sama?
[That response was a good one, and earned Chikusa an approving hum as Mukuro crunched on more chips, watching Chikusa's face for any sign of his ( possibly turbulent ) thoughts. While it would be easy, easier than breathing, to mold Chikusa to have him do what Mukuro wanted, this small exercise wasn't about that.
Sometimes, the illusion of choice was far more potent than actual freedom itself, and ( seemingly ) given the ability to make their own future, what would Ken and Chikusa choose? Because while Mukuro had long ago set himself on this path of bloody destruction and rebuilding, had Ken and Chikusa done the same? Or had they merely resigned themselves to it because Mukuro had been the first to show them kindness? Like with Chrome, he wasn't interested in half-hearted actions.
He merely chuckled, waving the question aside airily.]
This is about your wishes, Chikusa.
[He handed the half-full bag of chips to Chikusa, stretching languidly as he stood.]
I'm taking Fran to train for a few months. I'll be in touch.
[About his wishes. And, without much effort, he thinks of the Monkey's Paw tale. The people in that story had wishes as well, and see where those got them.]
[Chip bag held loosely in his hands, he stands up as well. A storm of questions and uncertainty is raging in his mind, and it's ferocious enough to actually show on his face. Slight, but there, his brows are furrowed together. As expected, none of it is given a chance to be put into words. There's merely an obedient nod.]
I'll let the others know, Mukuro-sama. Is there anything you want done while you're gone?
[It was not without some small spike of pleasure that made Mukuro smirk at that troubled look on Chikusa's face. It must be great if he wasn't aware of it making it to the surface, or perhaps Chikusa was lowering his guard around Mukuro. At any rate, Mukuro would accept it as evidence that the experiment ahead would be an interesting one.
He turned on his heel, waving a hand dismissively.]
Enjoy yourselves. You only live once.
[Which probably wasn't comforting considering Mukuro immediately burst into laughter as he ascended the stairs to where had left Fran, not sparing Chikusa a glance.]
[It must be a good joke, considering Mukuro's connection with reincarnation.]
[But Chikusa didn't chase after him. There were times when he was willing to give effort, and times where he knew that it would merely go to waste. This was a situation of the latter. Not only was he disinclined to argue against Mukuro, but if he hadn't changed his mind to this point, than Chikusa doubted he would for much else. Like so many other things, he resigned himself to the fact and went to go tell the others of the news. It wasn't particularly surprising that M.M. took the opportunity to promptly leave. Sometimes he wondered what she did away from them, and if it was all material gratification. That wasn't on his mind then.]
[He was more busy wondering in what way Mukuro-sama had made what seemed like a simple thing into a much more complicated beast.]
[It was at least partially for that worry which kept Chikusa firmly at Kokuyo Land. With how their group had grown, it was rare that him and Ken got to be alone often. It was nice, although Chikusa didn't visibly show as much. Ken knew anyway, he was sure. That was the good thing about him. There was no need to waste breath or energy on words. Ken always knew.]
[Unfortunately, there was only so long he could go with avoiding things. It had nothing to do with his personal feelings, and more the fact that he and Ken could not survive on spite and pineapples alone despite what Mukuro-sama no doubt would have liked. They did need food. Such were the failings of the human body. Leaving Ken to harass the local wildlife, Chikusa took off to head back into town. Inwardly, he protested the situation. Every step closer made it feel like his body would implode from tenseness.]
[As a general rule, he couldn't find it in him to care much for Mukuro-sama's games, whether negatively or positively. So long as Chikusa wasn't involved and Mukuro-sama's temper wasn't threatening to undo something important, his feelings remained at a firm zero. The fact that he was involved this time, the primary focus in fact, nudged his feelings towards an uncertain and trembling negative one.]
[And he meant, really, to not make the store trip anything more than it needed to be, feeling suspicious of every mundane scene or stranger that could be used as a vessel. It could almost be mistaken for lost in thought, even. The transaction at the register went smoothly, although quietly, and Chikusa thought that it would be over and done with, something that brought him relief as he went down the street.]
"Ah, Chikusa!"
[...Things can never be simple as he preferred. Chikusa paused, blinking as the clerk came up to him with a clear expression of concern. It felt... strange, to have an expression like that directed toward him.]
"Is everything alright?"
...What?
"Well... You seemed different from before. We were starting to talk, but today you were so quiet... I'm sorry, am I prying?"
It's fine. [It's bewildering, actually, and Chikusa shows it in the way he just observes the clerk silently for a second.] ...I'm watching our home while one of our housemates is gone.
"I see... I'm going to get off soon. Do you want to go get lunch with me and we can talk?"
[...Oh. He should be glad for this, according to what he's guessed at usual dating dynamics, but all Chikusa can feel for a second is off-balance. He didn't prepare for this. He didn't prepare for this at all. The silence stretches on long enough that the clerk starts to get worried, but eventually- a quick and quiet nod. Clerk-san beams.]
"I'll be switching with my coworker in ten minutes, so please be patient!"
[A meal at a small mundane cafe, a split pay for it except for the parfait Chikusa ended up with as a gift, and idle chatter. Most of it not from Chikusa, a fact that didn't seem to bother the other boy at all surprisingly. And then, at the end of it, Chikusa made a quiet offer for the same to happen next week.]
[It was probably a good thing that the suggestion was met with acceptance and another bright smile.]
[And with that, Chikusa brought back what could tentatively be called 'groceries'... and promptly laid face down on the couch for the rest of the day.]
[Chikusa's clumsy attempts at socializing were rather amusing, and in between the little play dates, Mukuro had followed around the clerk around when he wasn't with Chikusa. He seemed rather enamored with their beloved bespectacled boy, and whenever his friends brought him up to him, the clerk's reaction was sickening adorable.
There was only so much Mukuro could stomach before the whole farce got boring, before Chikusa had achieved adequate growth ( but not too much ), before he could only stay away so long before feeling the encroaching need to claim what was rightfully his.
So after a month or so, on one of their dates, he made sure to swoop into an empty chair in the cafe gracefully, smiling in the way that didn't meet his eyes but instead made them seem sharper, made him seem more dangerous.]
Hello.
[He barely waited for the greeting before canting his head towards Chikua, eyes never leaving the clerk, who seemed to be becoming rapidly unsettled.]
[The more he talked to the other boy, the more Chikusa found that he liked him.]
[Honestly, it was more than a little distressing, although he kept such thoughts far away from the surface where they might show. Something that annoyed him, that was frustrating- those were the kind of things he was looking for in the clerk he now saw regularly. Yet it was a fruitless search. Nothing seemed to stick, or at least nothing that was enough to put him off.]
[There were merely conversations over small cafe meals, where Chikusa figured out that he wasn't being pushed for responses, that simply acknowledging the words and remembering them was enough. Funny how that was enough to make him relax and actually be more vocal.]
[Yet, lurking in the back of his mind the entire time, he continued to wonder when the other shoe would drop.]
[So he couldn't be surprised when the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He wanted to hope that it was M.M., or Ken, or Dokuro... But he was already well aware of who it was that would so boldly invite himself to a seat. There was a flicker of a glance to Mukuro, from the corner of his eyes, and Chikusa's posture subtly worsened. It was the only sign of his discomfort and guilt, the rest of him locking down.]
[In a way, he didn't want to answer. Yet his loyalty was still stronger, forcing the words out.]
...Kabane. [The false persona Mukuro had first constructed when they'd come to Kokuyo. It seemed a good a name as any to refer to him by for this encounter.] This is Minato-san...
[His gaze started to slide away, guilt tugging at it, but caution made him look back again. If Mukuro-sama was upset, it was best to know ahead of time what he might do.]
[While it wasn't exactly an unexpected reaction, Chikusa slouching and avoiding his gaze once Mukuro had revealed himself, it didn't make him any less displeased. My, my, so then had this been getting serious? Mukuro was curious as to whether he should leave well enough be and see how far it developed so Chikusa would finally find something worth deterring him from seeing this clerk ( Minato-san, not Minato-sama he noted with some small measure of smugness ), but unfortunately at this age he hadn't learned any chill. ( Also Kabane, what a nostalgic name )
He canted his gaze back to Minato, who seemed far paler than he had before Mukuro had shown up, and a part of him reveled in that sort of reaction. The animal instinct that something was wrong and dangerous and that they should be running in the other direction. It was the same expression whether someone was a normal store clerk or a seasoned mafioso, it was just that this poor clerk had no idea what Mukuro was capable. Well, some would argue ignorance was bliss.]
It's a pleasure, Minato-san. Chikusa has spoken so highly of you that it made me curious to meet you.
[He smiled, eyes closed, almost innocent and disarming but something was still off. He wasn't angry, not yet, but he wasn't exactly pleasant either.]
[He did absolutely nothing of the sort, but Chikusa didn't call out the lie. If that was what Mukuro-sama wanted to say, then he wouldn't- couldn't, maybe- stop him. It would make a scene, besides. That was the last thing Chikusa needed.]
[Of course, this whole scenario was the last thing he wanted, so there was no good result in his opinion.]
[Locking down meant a complete lack of desire to participate in the farce of a conversation that was happening- carried almost completely by Mukuro-sama than either him or Minato. Chikusa wanted to completely block out the reality of what was happening, deny it and the whole past month...]
[But that wasn't something he could do, he knew that. And it was always up to him, more often than not, to be the one to make sure that Mukuro-sama didn't give into his temper too much. Besides, Minato was looking nervous. Anyone would.]
[More words, forced out, all in a mumble.]
Did you want something...?
[His finger tapped, once, on the menu to show what he meant. Maybe something sweet would help, if nothing else, delay the other boy's temper. Chikusa would gladly spend his own allowance for that reason alone.]
[If Mukuro was a normal person, who knew Chikusa and his responses as well as he did, he might feel terrible for the complete and utter shut down the other boy was going through. After all, Mukuro had encouraged this, and had wanted Chikusa to find something negative to attribute to the clerk. Instead, he was only acting out in a way that would most likely reinforce his own flaws, but this meeting was going to happen sooner or later. This play at normality had gone on long enough, and perhaps Chikusa had forgotten who he really was.
He could recognize what Chikusa was trying to do, instead waving off the menu ( though the chocolate parfait did look rather good ), sending one last feral grin towards the clerk.]
No, wouldn't want to interrupt your... date.
[Even though it seemed like all parties already seemed to know this had already happened. Oops.
He got up with a small wave, only now turning to look at Chikusa directly.]
I'll see you at home. It was nice meeting you, Minato-san.
[Interrupted, and completely unable to go back to normal, in fact, something Mukuro could probably see just with that one last glance at Chikusa. The youth's pupils were blown wide in quiet panic and worry, for all the blank expression on his face, and something in his defensive slouch spoke of the tension that thrummed through hunted prey in their last moments.]
[Even when Mukuro left, the feeling in the air didn't dissipate. Perhaps he'd feel smug at the fact that every question Minato asked- who was that, you live with him, are you alright- was ignored and it only took a moment for Chikusa to leave money for his food on the table as he got up to leave. It was too much money, a part of his brain knew, but he was too rattled to care. Whether it was that or the fact that Minato always was empathetic enough to pick up on things Chikusa hid, the other boy tried to reach out-]
[Chikusa had evaded mafia pursuers and Vindice hunters. He was quick, when he felt the need to be.]
[He was already out the door before Minato had left the table. By the time the clerk reached the streets, Chikusa had disappeared into the crowds with the perfect talent of someone who knew how to get lost in them.]
[Mukuro-sama. It was like a mantra, one that rang out inside his head continuously, laced with desperation and loyalty and perhaps traces of fear, even. It wasn't the kind of fear one might expect, however. It was a fear of being discarded, of disappointing. Other fears were there, quieter, because Mukuro could be fearsome in a heartbeat, bu they weren't the prevalent ones.]
[If he could find him on the street, it would be best, but Chikusa was fully prepared to start the long haul all the way back to 'home' if that's what was needed.]
[Being an illusionist meant knowing that physical pain faded, but the mental imprint of a wound was worse, that tearing apart a person's body was easy, but to tear apart a mind took finesse and skill. It was a lesson he had learned from birth, through the lifetimes that had been implanted into him, through his continued existence. He knew that his time in the lab had molded him far more than he cared to admit, had lit within him an unstoppable rage and hate that would have swallowed him whole had he not given it shape and purpose.
The same could be said of Ken and Chikusa, even if the quieter boy would try to never let on. It was cruel of him, perhaps, to dredge up those deep seated fears, but Mukuro was mercurial in his whims.
Whether it was a small show of mercy or because Mukuro had known Chikusa would come barrelling after him, he wasn't too far from the street, his trademark pineapple hair bobbing throughout the crowd. He wouldn't bother to look at Chikusa when the teen caught up with him, mouth curled in something akin to a sneer.]
[A quiet murmur, blank and unassuming, and it did so well to mask the panic twisted and wrapped around his heart.]
[Maybe he was giving in too much. Mukuro's temper, he was more than well aware, could be a fickle and childish thing sometimes. On that level, him and Ken have rarely had to worry. Not seriously, anyway. It's knowledge that's allowed him to so boldly grab Mukuro and hold him back, and for Ken to whine about taking a bath because their leader's annoyance wasn't worse than that.]
[There was a difference, however.]
[That was them- Estraneo's only descendants, children covered in scars and blood that bound all three of them together, together with only themselves to rely on for years now.]
[Introducing someone else into the equation at all- that had been a mistake. He was sure of that, now, as he tried to hide his desperate analysis of Mukuro-sama's face behind his glasses.]
[The question irritated him, mostly because to the two who had been with him since that hateful lab, he was transparent. For a mist user, that was a weakness, one that could have been rid of easily enough. In the beginning, it had been necessary to have subordinates, people to help take shifts to keep watch over each other while they rested or to watch each other's backs, but now that Mukuro had grown accustomed to his eye and his power and his body, what was the point of it now?]
Kufufufu why would I be?
[Mukuro canted his head to the side, eyelashes lowered as he looked up at Chikusa's careful passive facade. Not for the first time, he wanted to rip the foundation of Chikusa's control apart brick by brick, tendon by tendon, bone by bone. Chikusa was his after all, to do as he wished, and he had done so again and again.
The moment passed without incident, and Mukuro retracted his fangs, though they still peeked out when he smirked at the other boy.]
[Why would I be? A question that Chikusa himself wanted to know, even as he knew that he'd likely never get an answer. This was a path Mukuro had encouraged him to pursue, had given him the freedom to pursue. Had he done something inappropriate, that didn't satisfy the other boy, that didn't give him a result he wanted? What could he have changed?]
[Those were the sort of thoughts that flashed through Chikusa's head as he looked down at that dangerous look, knowing at least that the question just asked was the wrong one. At the same time... He had wanted to be wrong.]
[Only when the expression had shifted into a slightly less dangerous one did his heart move out of his throat.]
I'll stop contact with him, Mukuro-sama.
[It wasn't an answer to the question, but an offering. Chikusa's feelings on this, after all, were secondary compared to the problem at hand.]
[Telling Chikusa to stop contact would be what Mukuro preferred, but that wouldn't solve the core problem. The issue being that Chikusa was curious about people outside of the small world they had built for themselves. If it wasn't with clerk-san, then it would be someone else later down the road. No matter how much Chikusa tried to tamp down on his emotions, they were still there, and one day Mukuro was sure they would escape in a spectacular fashion.
So he waved a hand coolly, dismissive.]
You can continue to see him.
[If clerk-san still wanted to see Chikusa was another matter. Would cowardice be enough of a deterrent to make Chikusa not want to see him again?]
I just wanted to meet the person who captured your attention face to face, if only once.
[More like scare the living daylights out of him, but who was keeping track.]
[It was almost funny, if it wasn't Chikusa's life, and if he had the sense of humor inclined to that sort of thing. He had enjoyed, in his way, the time he and Minato had spent together. It was calming, even though it could be argued that Chikusa of all people didn't need anymore calm.]
[Yet, in some twisted way, he would be more relieved if Mukuro had told him to stop than... this.]
[Mukuro-sama wasn't pleased. At the same time, he wasn't giving any orders that would logically make him feel better. Mukuro-sama not being upset- with him in particular- was Chikusa's goal.]
[What had started out as a simple dilemma with his emotions had quickly spiraled out of control.]
...I think you may have unnerved him, Mukuro-sama.
[He'd unnerved Chikusa too, of course, but for entirely different reasons.]
[The observation was only going to make Mukuro's expression turn entirely too smug. That was part of the plan of course, and he never tired of people cowering before him.
He flicked his gaze up to Chikusa's face, almost contrite.]
Would you like me to apologize?
[Most likely he wouldn't actually do so, and if he did it would only scare clerk-chan further, but he could give Chikusa some peace. He could be somewhat generous on occasion after all.]
[Chikusa is well aware of how that sort of encounter would go again. Besides, it might give Mukuro even more ideas than he already has, which is a worrying prospect. This is enough of a mess.]
[But... that means..]
I'll... explain things myself.
[Unable to help himself, he adjusts his glasses again.]
[Now that got Mukuro's interest, Mukuro turning to face Chikusa fully, to gauge his expression intently, capturing most of the tics other people would never learn. Having spent their whole lives together, they were distressingly easy to pick out, especially considering Chikusa seemed... distressed over this whole scenario. A part of him was sadistically pleased at that, but all the same-]
It's not too troublesome?
[It was asked flippantly, but Mukuro wanted an answer. Perhaps there were changes that were occurring even while Mukuro had watched so closely.]
[If anything, Mukuro's full attention seemed to make Chikusa even more distressed. For the majority of people in the world, not much would have changed. For the minority of two who really knew Chikusa, however, he may as well have thrown a chair out a shop window in panic. It was in the way he delayed his hand, keeping it at his glasses as if he could press them straight into his flesh and not have to worry. It was in the tenseness to his shoulders, rigid in contrast to his slumped posture which had only gotten all the worse during the conversation- an attempt to become smaller than his lanky frame would allow.]
[Curled fingers that would already have a yoyo in their grasp for almost anyone else. A stare focused more on Mukuro's shoulder than daring to make contact.]
[All that, and probably a dozen other minor little things that other people might miss, and it was obvious that Chikusa wanted nothing more than to be in any other situation but this one.]
[It was troublesome. He couldn't lie and say it wasn't. At the same time... He wasn't sure what else to say. What words would appease the other, if there were even any at all. He was out of his depth.]
Mukuro-sama... This has always been troublesome. That's why I was looking for a way to make it stop.
[Wasn't Mukuro cruel to see how much distress and discomfort he was causing Chikusa and a large part of him wanted to inflict more? After all, Mukuro may be an illusionist, but he never held illusions about himself. Doing so would be the quickest way to be defeated, to lose his power. He knew his strengths and weaknesses intimately, and thus knew how to shield himself and only show what was necessary to be shown. In most cases that was enough, but it was difficult to keep even his worst traits hidden from those who knew them as well as he did.
He turned away from Chikusa then, the city falling away as he made his way into the woods, back to their decrepit base, considering Chikusa's words.]
Then continue. My orders remain the same.
[Even if his actions might not reflect that, he was impatient for Chikusa to find an end to this as well, so they could return to their activities. Mukuro had waited to see how this would end long enough.]
[Chikusa held no delusions about Mukuro either. He was well aware of his cruelty, his tendency towards sadism, his twisted sense of humor. Yet to "Maru", he had already made the admission: such things changed his feelings not at all.]
[That didn't keep him from wishing he'd never been in this situation.]
Yes, Mukuro-sama.
[A show of obedience, loyalty, deference- maybe that would help Mukuro-sama's temper. Even with this whole twisted game, Chikusa had no interest in leaving his side, after all.]
[Only the faintest of hesitance showed before Chikusa continued to follow after him into the foliage. He desperately hoped that Mukuro-sama's order meant in general and not, in fact, right that moment. The idea of having to go back to the disaster of a date, to have to deal with something so emotional and have to come up with some sort of explanation- that was terrifying.]
[Now that his orders and wishes were clear ( or as clear as Mukuro would allow them to be ), he was content to let Chikusa set the pace for how he would pursue those orders. He didn't bother to speak for a few more footfalls, not until their base came into view. Though he knew the answers, he did like hearing the other boy's opinions and viewpoint.]
Have you been leaving Ken alone all this time? How lonely he must be.
[With his tendency to stalk, eavesdrop, spy, and gladly stick his nose anywhere he could, the idea of Mukuro-sama not knowing the answer before he asked was slim. Chikusa knew him. Despite that, he still answered fairly quickly. Almost defensively.]
I've only left for supplies and... meeting Minato.
[It feels odd to call them dates, even though Mukuro-sama had already labeled them as such himself.]
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badliifechoiice22016-01-08 10:36 am
no subject
Whenever you have use of us next, Mukuro-sama.
[They'd drop everything and go to him, without question. They're his, after all. They have been for many years. Nothing could change that. All that, within one simple sentence, before he reached over to accept another chip.]
I'll let him know. [A pause, but not because he's eating. He twisted the chip in his hand, gathering his thoughts.] ...What do you wish from this, Mukuro-sama?
[As if this isn't about his own feelings.]
no subject
Sometimes, the illusion of choice was far more potent than actual freedom itself, and ( seemingly ) given the ability to make their own future, what would Ken and Chikusa choose? Because while Mukuro had long ago set himself on this path of bloody destruction and rebuilding, had Ken and Chikusa done the same? Or had they merely resigned themselves to it because Mukuro had been the first to show them kindness? Like with Chrome, he wasn't interested in half-hearted actions.
He merely chuckled, waving the question aside airily.]
This is about your wishes, Chikusa.
[He handed the half-full bag of chips to Chikusa, stretching languidly as he stood.]
I'm taking Fran to train for a few months. I'll be in touch.
no subject
[Chip bag held loosely in his hands, he stands up as well. A storm of questions and uncertainty is raging in his mind, and it's ferocious enough to actually show on his face. Slight, but there, his brows are furrowed together. As expected, none of it is given a chance to be put into words. There's merely an obedient nod.]
I'll let the others know, Mukuro-sama. Is there anything you want done while you're gone?
no subject
He turned on his heel, waving a hand dismissively.]
Enjoy yourselves. You only live once.
[Which probably wasn't comforting considering Mukuro immediately burst into laughter as he ascended the stairs to where had left Fran, not sparing Chikusa a glance.]
no subject
[But Chikusa didn't chase after him. There were times when he was willing to give effort, and times where he knew that it would merely go to waste. This was a situation of the latter. Not only was he disinclined to argue against Mukuro, but if he hadn't changed his mind to this point, than Chikusa doubted he would for much else. Like so many other things, he resigned himself to the fact and went to go tell the others of the news. It wasn't particularly surprising that M.M. took the opportunity to promptly leave. Sometimes he wondered what she did away from them, and if it was all material gratification. That wasn't on his mind then.]
[He was more busy wondering in what way Mukuro-sama had made what seemed like a simple thing into a much more complicated beast.]
[It was at least partially for that worry which kept Chikusa firmly at Kokuyo Land. With how their group had grown, it was rare that him and Ken got to be alone often. It was nice, although Chikusa didn't visibly show as much. Ken knew anyway, he was sure. That was the good thing about him. There was no need to waste breath or energy on words. Ken always knew.]
[Unfortunately, there was only so long he could go with avoiding things. It had nothing to do with his personal feelings, and more the fact that he and Ken could not survive on spite and pineapples alone despite what Mukuro-sama no doubt would have liked. They did need food. Such were the failings of the human body. Leaving Ken to harass the local wildlife, Chikusa took off to head back into town. Inwardly, he protested the situation. Every step closer made it feel like his body would implode from tenseness.]
[As a general rule, he couldn't find it in him to care much for Mukuro-sama's games, whether negatively or positively. So long as Chikusa wasn't involved and Mukuro-sama's temper wasn't threatening to undo something important, his feelings remained at a firm zero. The fact that he was involved this time, the primary focus in fact, nudged his feelings towards an uncertain and trembling negative one.]
[And he meant, really, to not make the store trip anything more than it needed to be, feeling suspicious of every mundane scene or stranger that could be used as a vessel. It could almost be mistaken for lost in thought, even. The transaction at the register went smoothly, although quietly, and Chikusa thought that it would be over and done with, something that brought him relief as he went down the street.]
"Ah, Chikusa!"
[...Things can never be simple as he preferred. Chikusa paused, blinking as the clerk came up to him with a clear expression of concern. It felt... strange, to have an expression like that directed toward him.]
"Is everything alright?"
...What?
"Well... You seemed different from before. We were starting to talk, but today you were so quiet... I'm sorry, am I prying?"
It's fine. [It's bewildering, actually, and Chikusa shows it in the way he just observes the clerk silently for a second.] ...I'm watching our home while one of our housemates is gone.
"I see... I'm going to get off soon. Do you want to go get lunch with me and we can talk?"
[...Oh. He should be glad for this, according to what he's guessed at usual dating dynamics, but all Chikusa can feel for a second is off-balance. He didn't prepare for this. He didn't prepare for this at all. The silence stretches on long enough that the clerk starts to get worried, but eventually- a quick and quiet nod. Clerk-san beams.]
"I'll be switching with my coworker in ten minutes, so please be patient!"
[A meal at a small mundane cafe, a split pay for it except for the parfait Chikusa ended up with as a gift, and idle chatter. Most of it not from Chikusa, a fact that didn't seem to bother the other boy at all surprisingly. And then, at the end of it, Chikusa made a quiet offer for the same to happen next week.]
[It was probably a good thing that the suggestion was met with acceptance and another bright smile.]
[And with that, Chikusa brought back what could tentatively be called 'groceries'... and promptly laid face down on the couch for the rest of the day.]
[Socializing was so tiring.]
[...But that was next week decided. He guessed.]
no subject
There was only so much Mukuro could stomach before the whole farce got boring, before Chikusa had achieved adequate growth ( but not too much ), before he could only stay away so long before feeling the encroaching need to claim what was rightfully his.
So after a month or so, on one of their dates, he made sure to swoop into an empty chair in the cafe gracefully, smiling in the way that didn't meet his eyes but instead made them seem sharper, made him seem more dangerous.]
Hello.
[He barely waited for the greeting before canting his head towards Chikua, eyes never leaving the clerk, who seemed to be becoming rapidly unsettled.]
Who is this, Chikusa?
no subject
[The more he talked to the other boy, the more Chikusa found that he liked him.]
[Honestly, it was more than a little distressing, although he kept such thoughts far away from the surface where they might show. Something that annoyed him, that was frustrating- those were the kind of things he was looking for in the clerk he now saw regularly. Yet it was a fruitless search. Nothing seemed to stick, or at least nothing that was enough to put him off.]
[There were merely conversations over small cafe meals, where Chikusa figured out that he wasn't being pushed for responses, that simply acknowledging the words and remembering them was enough. Funny how that was enough to make him relax and actually be more vocal.]
[Yet, lurking in the back of his mind the entire time, he continued to wonder when the other shoe would drop.]
[So he couldn't be surprised when the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He wanted to hope that it was M.M., or Ken, or Dokuro... But he was already well aware of who it was that would so boldly invite himself to a seat. There was a flicker of a glance to Mukuro, from the corner of his eyes, and Chikusa's posture subtly worsened. It was the only sign of his discomfort and guilt, the rest of him locking down.]
[In a way, he didn't want to answer. Yet his loyalty was still stronger, forcing the words out.]
...Kabane. [The false persona Mukuro had first constructed when they'd come to Kokuyo. It seemed a good a name as any to refer to him by for this encounter.] This is Minato-san...
[His gaze started to slide away, guilt tugging at it, but caution made him look back again. If Mukuro-sama was upset, it was best to know ahead of time what he might do.]
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He canted his gaze back to Minato, who seemed far paler than he had before Mukuro had shown up, and a part of him reveled in that sort of reaction. The animal instinct that something was wrong and dangerous and that they should be running in the other direction. It was the same expression whether someone was a normal store clerk or a seasoned mafioso, it was just that this poor clerk had no idea what Mukuro was capable. Well, some would argue ignorance was bliss.]
It's a pleasure, Minato-san. Chikusa has spoken so highly of you that it made me curious to meet you.
[He smiled, eyes closed, almost innocent and disarming but something was still off. He wasn't angry, not yet, but he wasn't exactly pleasant either.]
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[Of course, this whole scenario was the last thing he wanted, so there was no good result in his opinion.]
[Locking down meant a complete lack of desire to participate in the farce of a conversation that was happening- carried almost completely by Mukuro-sama than either him or Minato. Chikusa wanted to completely block out the reality of what was happening, deny it and the whole past month...]
[But that wasn't something he could do, he knew that. And it was always up to him, more often than not, to be the one to make sure that Mukuro-sama didn't give into his temper too much. Besides, Minato was looking nervous. Anyone would.]
[More words, forced out, all in a mumble.]
Did you want something...?
[His finger tapped, once, on the menu to show what he meant. Maybe something sweet would help, if nothing else, delay the other boy's temper. Chikusa would gladly spend his own allowance for that reason alone.]
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He could recognize what Chikusa was trying to do, instead waving off the menu ( though the chocolate parfait did look rather good ), sending one last feral grin towards the clerk.]
No, wouldn't want to interrupt your... date.
[Even though it seemed like all parties already seemed to know this had already happened. Oops.
He got up with a small wave, only now turning to look at Chikusa directly.]
I'll see you at home. It was nice meeting you, Minato-san.
[Mic drop, damage done, Mukuro out.]
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[Even when Mukuro left, the feeling in the air didn't dissipate. Perhaps he'd feel smug at the fact that every question Minato asked- who was that, you live with him, are you alright- was ignored and it only took a moment for Chikusa to leave money for his food on the table as he got up to leave. It was too much money, a part of his brain knew, but he was too rattled to care. Whether it was that or the fact that Minato always was empathetic enough to pick up on things Chikusa hid, the other boy tried to reach out-]
[Chikusa had evaded mafia pursuers and Vindice hunters. He was quick, when he felt the need to be.]
[He was already out the door before Minato had left the table. By the time the clerk reached the streets, Chikusa had disappeared into the crowds with the perfect talent of someone who knew how to get lost in them.]
[Mukuro-sama. It was like a mantra, one that rang out inside his head continuously, laced with desperation and loyalty and perhaps traces of fear, even. It wasn't the kind of fear one might expect, however. It was a fear of being discarded, of disappointing. Other fears were there, quieter, because Mukuro could be fearsome in a heartbeat, bu they weren't the prevalent ones.]
[If he could find him on the street, it would be best, but Chikusa was fully prepared to start the long haul all the way back to 'home' if that's what was needed.]
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The same could be said of Ken and Chikusa, even if the quieter boy would try to never let on. It was cruel of him, perhaps, to dredge up those deep seated fears, but Mukuro was mercurial in his whims.
Whether it was a small show of mercy or because Mukuro had known Chikusa would come barrelling after him, he wasn't too far from the street, his trademark pineapple hair bobbing throughout the crowd. He wouldn't bother to look at Chikusa when the teen caught up with him, mouth curled in something akin to a sneer.]
You didn't have to leave on my account, Chikusa.
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[A quiet murmur, blank and unassuming, and it did so well to mask the panic twisted and wrapped around his heart.]
[Maybe he was giving in too much. Mukuro's temper, he was more than well aware, could be a fickle and childish thing sometimes. On that level, him and Ken have rarely had to worry. Not seriously, anyway. It's knowledge that's allowed him to so boldly grab Mukuro and hold him back, and for Ken to whine about taking a bath because their leader's annoyance wasn't worse than that.]
[There was a difference, however.]
[That was them- Estraneo's only descendants, children covered in scars and blood that bound all three of them together, together with only themselves to rely on for years now.]
[Introducing someone else into the equation at all- that had been a mistake. He was sure of that, now, as he tried to hide his desperate analysis of Mukuro-sama's face behind his glasses.]
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Kufufufu why would I be?
[Mukuro canted his head to the side, eyelashes lowered as he looked up at Chikusa's careful passive facade. Not for the first time, he wanted to rip the foundation of Chikusa's control apart brick by brick, tendon by tendon, bone by bone. Chikusa was his after all, to do as he wished, and he had done so again and again.
The moment passed without incident, and Mukuro retracted his fangs, though they still peeked out when he smirked at the other boy.]
Did you enjoy your foray into normalcy?
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[Those were the sort of thoughts that flashed through Chikusa's head as he looked down at that dangerous look, knowing at least that the question just asked was the wrong one. At the same time... He had wanted to be wrong.]
[Only when the expression had shifted into a slightly less dangerous one did his heart move out of his throat.]
I'll stop contact with him, Mukuro-sama.
[It wasn't an answer to the question, but an offering. Chikusa's feelings on this, after all, were secondary compared to the problem at hand.]
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So he waved a hand coolly, dismissive.]
You can continue to see him.
[If clerk-san still wanted to see Chikusa was another matter. Would cowardice be enough of a deterrent to make Chikusa not want to see him again?]
I just wanted to meet the person who captured your attention face to face, if only once.
[More like scare the living daylights out of him, but who was keeping track.]
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[It was almost funny, if it wasn't Chikusa's life, and if he had the sense of humor inclined to that sort of thing. He had enjoyed, in his way, the time he and Minato had spent together. It was calming, even though it could be argued that Chikusa of all people didn't need anymore calm.]
[Yet, in some twisted way, he would be more relieved if Mukuro had told him to stop than... this.]
[Mukuro-sama wasn't pleased. At the same time, he wasn't giving any orders that would logically make him feel better. Mukuro-sama not being upset- with him in particular- was Chikusa's goal.]
[What had started out as a simple dilemma with his emotions had quickly spiraled out of control.]
...I think you may have unnerved him, Mukuro-sama.
[He'd unnerved Chikusa too, of course, but for entirely different reasons.]
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He flicked his gaze up to Chikusa's face, almost contrite.]
Would you like me to apologize?
[Most likely he wouldn't actually do so, and if he did it would only scare clerk-chan further, but he could give Chikusa some peace. He could be somewhat generous on occasion after all.]
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[Translation: fuck no.]
[Chikusa is well aware of how that sort of encounter would go again. Besides, it might give Mukuro even more ideas than he already has, which is a worrying prospect. This is enough of a mess.]
[But... that means..]
I'll... explain things myself.
[Unable to help himself, he adjusts his glasses again.]
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It's not too troublesome?
[It was asked flippantly, but Mukuro wanted an answer. Perhaps there were changes that were occurring even while Mukuro had watched so closely.]
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[Curled fingers that would already have a yoyo in their grasp for almost anyone else. A stare focused more on Mukuro's shoulder than daring to make contact.]
[All that, and probably a dozen other minor little things that other people might miss, and it was obvious that Chikusa wanted nothing more than to be in any other situation but this one.]
[It was troublesome. He couldn't lie and say it wasn't. At the same time... He wasn't sure what else to say. What words would appease the other, if there were even any at all. He was out of his depth.]
Mukuro-sama... This has always been troublesome. That's why I was looking for a way to make it stop.
[Not a lie.]
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He turned away from Chikusa then, the city falling away as he made his way into the woods, back to their decrepit base, considering Chikusa's words.]
Then continue. My orders remain the same.
[Even if his actions might not reflect that, he was impatient for Chikusa to find an end to this as well, so they could return to their activities. Mukuro had waited to see how this would end long enough.]
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[That didn't keep him from wishing he'd never been in this situation.]
Yes, Mukuro-sama.
[A show of obedience, loyalty, deference- maybe that would help Mukuro-sama's temper. Even with this whole twisted game, Chikusa had no interest in leaving his side, after all.]
[Only the faintest of hesitance showed before Chikusa continued to follow after him into the foliage. He desperately hoped that Mukuro-sama's order meant in general and not, in fact, right that moment. The idea of having to go back to the disaster of a date, to have to deal with something so emotional and have to come up with some sort of explanation- that was terrifying.]
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Have you been leaving Ken alone all this time? How lonely he must be.
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[With his tendency to stalk, eavesdrop, spy, and gladly stick his nose anywhere he could, the idea of Mukuro-sama not knowing the answer before he asked was slim. Chikusa knew him. Despite that, he still answered fairly quickly. Almost defensively.]
I've only left for supplies and... meeting Minato.
[It feels odd to call them dates, even though Mukuro-sama had already labeled them as such himself.]
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