[Some measure of relief goes through him when he overhears the thankful prayers that soon come back through the church. The family is so thankful that their burden has been eased up even slightly. To himself, quietly, he reflects on the feeling. Exorcising demons is his main lot in life, he accepted that long ago, but...]
[It's nice. Knowing that more is possible than simply being a weapon for the Church against demons.... even if that feeling is a little tainted by knowing it wasn't God that helped them, but something else entirely.]
[Of course, once he has that, he's well aware of what likely awaits him. It makes the rest of the day almost unbearable from the tension thrumming through his body, and he hides it best he can with prayer after prayer while at church. A holy place doesn't deserve his thoughts tarnishing it.]
[He doesn't have that excuse when he returns home, and it doesn't stop running around his head even when- especially when- he puts himself down to sleep that night.]
[Waking up to see the demon there makes his stomach twist- fear, uncertainty, eagerness? Chikusa doesn't know. However, the change to him is obvious. There's no reserved mannerisms of a priest, or the sharp jerking movements from a man silently fearful of what a demon could do to him. Instead, as he pushes himself up, they're slow and uncertain, matching the expression on his face as he avoids making eye contact.]
Yes. Thank you. [A pause, almost looking up but then stopping himself at the last moment.] I'm... not sure what I'm to do.
[His looks at porn were brief, after all, and he's not sure how much of all that was fantasy or reliable truth.]
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[It's nice. Knowing that more is possible than simply being a weapon for the Church against demons.... even if that feeling is a little tainted by knowing it wasn't God that helped them, but something else entirely.]
[Of course, once he has that, he's well aware of what likely awaits him. It makes the rest of the day almost unbearable from the tension thrumming through his body, and he hides it best he can with prayer after prayer while at church. A holy place doesn't deserve his thoughts tarnishing it.]
[He doesn't have that excuse when he returns home, and it doesn't stop running around his head even when- especially when- he puts himself down to sleep that night.]
[Waking up to see the demon there makes his stomach twist- fear, uncertainty, eagerness? Chikusa doesn't know. However, the change to him is obvious. There's no reserved mannerisms of a priest, or the sharp jerking movements from a man silently fearful of what a demon could do to him. Instead, as he pushes himself up, they're slow and uncertain, matching the expression on his face as he avoids making eye contact.]
Yes. Thank you. [A pause, almost looking up but then stopping himself at the last moment.] I'm... not sure what I'm to do.
[His looks at porn were brief, after all, and he's not sure how much of all that was fantasy or reliable truth.]